Lisa and Mini Ginger

my life mission: BE THE CHANGE

2012-02-12T14:23:00.002+11:00

It feels GOOD to have a mission, to know that everyday when I get up there is a higher purpose driving me onwards and upwards. It is especially helpful when the depression or anxiety come creeping back into my life trying to chip away at my optimism, to remind myself that I am here to make a difference.

How amazing, overwhelmingly beautiful and crazy blessed! It has taken me many years to realise that all of the darkness, loss, tragedy, pain and heartbreak that I endured and survived was here to teach me one big, epiphanous (think I just made up a word) lesson!! It has all given me the ability to share the many parts of my story so that others can be supported, so that others do not feel alone and so that my loss becomes a way to GIVE.

It saddens me beyond words that so many, many people live with a sense of uncertainty about their lives, that so many, many people live in poverty or in pain or on the streets. My passion, emotion and deep longing to change the world is coming to a crescendo of multiple ideas and plans at the moment. Some days it feels as though the brainwaves are going to carry me off somewhere far away from reality!!

With all of this life changing realisation going on for me right now comes a much more centered approach to life in general, and a lot more appreciation for blessings. As an optimist I have always turned to gratitude in times of darkness and I cannot recommend this practice enough if you are in need of a big fat reality check!! Snap yourself out of the negativity, the mindless gossip, the judgement of others and engage in some more meaningful acceptance and thankfulness. Make this your first step in discovering your own life mission!

As my friends know, I left judgement of others behind me some time ago however there is a part of me that continues to experience frustration at the lack of gratitude, manners and basic kindness in others. It is with a great tenderness though that I want to grab people and shake just a little bit of perspective into their lives when I witness other Mums judging and bitching, other bloggers with no respect or values, other drivers with no basic courtesy, other parents abusing their children...goodness I could go on and on with this list!

Anyhoo, this post is my proclamation and commitment to always BE THE CHANGE and to step up my mission in life to the next level in 2012!

Do you have a life mission? I would love to hear about it!

Photo Challenge {every30minforaday}

2012-02-09T20:46:00.001+11:00

Here is our day today, snapped with my iPhone every 30 minutes. As you can tell it is 8 hours of our day, we woke quite late this morning and by 5pm I was a crumpled heap on the couch beside that cute little man on the iPad in the final picture!

The lovely Renee Bell of NFE Design inspired me to participate in this photo challenge, there are so many wonderful and enticing photo challenges out in the blogosphere at the moment!

This one was certainly a challenge...on top of the usual Thursday flurry of morning outing, first day of my new job (work from home/playhouse/wherever I find myself inspired and online) lunch, afternoon nap, my hours of power working as Mini G enjoys his siesta, dinner inspiration, potty training, shopping, reading, household business...phew!

Anyhoo, as you can see, its a nice little snapshot of a slightly extraordinary day, just the way I like it!!

Valentine Self Love

2012-02-07T20:12:00.002+11:00

Valentine's is another time of the year that can evoke mixed feelings amongst those around us, much like Christmas. The commercial approach to this occasion is similar, lots of happy flawless portrayal of the quintessential couple embracing their couple-ness and reveling in the tradition.

It is not my intention to slay this tradition with a bitter and twisted, loveless commentary that will drag us all into a dark and twisted place...that is SO not me! Instead I am writing about this controversial occasion simply to remind us all that behind closed doors we know not what goes on! Please hold your judgement of others, extend your hand in friendship and open your mind to a Valentines of self-love.

It may be that you or someone you know chooses to reflect on your friendships and your own inner light at this time of year. Perhaps you have some girlfriends who have become a little jaded about the commercial aspects of Valentines and who might like a little reminder of your love for them? Instead of turning our backs on this occasion altogether it might be nicer to just give it a little revamp and extend the love and light inwards, to our friendships and to our family.

It is my intention to lead by example on this, at present my romantic life is in a state of uncertainty however I choose not to dwell on the negative and intend to take this opportunity to share some love and light with my family and friends. I want to get in early and instill a sense of magic, heart and soul into the meaning of Valentines for my little Mini G...its never too early to provide an alternative to the marketing messages abundant in our world at this time!

Single Parenting Tips

2012-02-04T12:51:00.001+11:00

It has been a long time coming, the tips that I feel ready to share with the single parenting community! I honestly believe that single parenting can be a beautiful thing, let me be clear though that I did not enter Motherhood with the intention or knowledge that I would become a single Mum. I am learning as I go, as with most things in life!

As someone who has experienced their share of tragedy, overcome depression and been thrust into adulthood at a young age I have found that my resilience and 'bright side' attitude has helped hugely since becoming a single parent. Obviously the process of adapting to this new life will be different for everyone, the circumstances through which single parenting arises range from the heartbreakingly traumatic through to the calm and cooperative.

Thankfully my situation has been on the more harmonious end of the spectrum and although there is a huge grieving process, an incredible sense of loss and many nights of self doubt, I now feel that I am in a happy kinda place. Let me be clear that it is not easy, there are bouts of aching loneliness, nights of sitting silent in the emptiness of a home that was one minute filled with the noise of a toddler and the next minute suddenly longing for sound.

Despite those days when I have wanted nothing more than someone to take over the afternoon play so that I could sneak away for a cheeky siesta, most of the time I am intensely grateful for the abundant quality time with my precious little man. We have a beautifully intense relationship that currently involves co-sleeping and instances of separation anxiety that tear at my heart and push me to the limits of my ability to keep calm and carry on!

As my experience as a single parent deepens and my commitment to nurturing the kindest most meaningful little life continues to strengthen, I often find myself quite proud of my ability to balance this crazy gig with working full time, my volunteer charity work, my photography, my blogging, my self care, my entertaining and the household chores in between!

Yes, it is possible and possible without expensive hired help, weekly therapy or daily binge drinking! So here are the first of my single parenting tips aimed at shedding some light on how I manage to keep it all together and still be shiny and happy, most of the time!!

1) The power of being organised: OK so this one could be a post in itself, yes I was born with the anal retentive gene however it can be learned, to a degree! We can train ourselves to think ahead, be a little more prepared and save loads of time. For example: pack the daycare bag the night before, use a meal planning chart for the week ahead, make a list each night of the tasks for the next day, when you cook make 3 times more than you need and freeze batches for dinners and lunches, choose your outfits the night before work / daycare.

2) Clean as you go: seriously this one has the biggest impact on my time management and I practice it everywhere! As you prepare and cook meals stack the dishwasher at the same time, wipe the bench as you go and put things away while you are waiting for something to simmer or bake. It literally takes minutes to wipe and sweep as you go and then you don't have to come back to it! In the kitchen this creates a clean work space and in turn gives you a clean head space, and the same applies with the toys, at the office, and with the bathroom. In the last 12 months in my new home I have cleaned the bathroom less than 5 times, because every night when we bathe or shower I give it a wipe over with a damp cloth and some soap so it is always clean, and tidy. Try it!!

3) Communication: the emotional side of single parenting is intense, there are routines in different houses, sleeping patterns, behaviours, diet and nutrition...the list goes on. Where possible, communicate with the other household as much as you can. If your relationship is strained then appeal to a sense of concern about your child/ren. Suggest a weekly or fortnightly email just to update each other on the current routine, the sleeping cycles, the naps, the eating, the reaction to certain changes. This has worked really well for me and is so important in your little ones feeling a sense of security and consistency.

4) Be honest: at this stage I am not getting a lot of questions due to Mini G only being 2.5 years old however I am an advocate of being honest and open with our children at all ages. It is such a sign of respect and trust and greatly empowering to them when we speak as equals and answer their questions with integrity. Of course we need to protect them from certain things as well however where possible be generous with your authenticity and speak from the heart.

5) Self love: another hugely important part of single parenting is self love, self care and keeping ourselves healthy in body and mind as well as being kind to ourselves. I have learned, sometimes the hard way, over the past 2 years that our little ones feed directly off our own emotions. I can recall a time when Mini G was only a few months old and I was so determined to implement an afternoon nap at a certain time...my own pressure on us both to led to tears and frustration as I eventually conceded to his schedule. Recently the sleeping had me at breaking point again until I decided just to let it be, what was the harm of co-sleeping at this stage? I only have 4 nights a week with my little man and this time is precious so for now we are going to be as close as possible during that time. As soon as I let go of my self imposed expectations and stopped pushing them so hard onto him the anxiety melted away. Single parenting takes a huge amount of work, juggling and can be incredibly tiring with nobody to share the load so when I have time to myself I plan it so that it is maximised for the things that feed me and nurture me to be the best person and Mother I can be.

I think I may need a few more parts to this list so for now I will leave you with these pearls of my wisdom, please feel free to share your own thoughts and tips for other single parents, and of course we can look at these more broadly as just parenting tips too!

Art with Soul

2012-02-01T13:51:00.001+11:00

OH these paintings are beyond exquisite! Since my own creativity has been ignited through my iphoneography over the last 8 months I have been seeking more and more art with soul!

Thanks to one of my favourite blogs Daydream Lily I have just discovered the treasure that is the work of Pakayla Biehn.

There are no words to describe the intense yet delicate beauty of these particular paintings, created based on double exposure photographs. Pakayla has collaborated with a number of photographers on these works and they are just breathtaking.

It is so important for me to explore creativity as a means of enlightenment and illumination in my life. Especially since living with depression and anxiety requires a whole lot of extra light!!

HOLD the judgement, please

2012-01-31T17:09:00.001+11:00

(Beautiful picture from here)

It is often our first instinct to form an instant opinion of someone or something based on what we see in front of us at any given moment in time. Looking back upon some of my own friendships, work situations and social experiences I can see so clearly now that sharing judgements is an easy (shortcut) to bonding with new people, filling a silence or making a nervous work situation go away.

It takes maturity, confidence in ourselves and serious respect for others to hold the judgement and create conversation and interaction that does not revolve around what someone is wearing, the latest office gossip or the type of food being served at the event you are attending.

It is with the clarity of hindsight that I can pinpoint the time in my life when I took a step back and realised that a lot of the people in my life thrived on judgement and sucked everyone within a metre radius into their cycle of feeding off this unhealthy practice.

At the risk of sounding judgmental (geez it is hard to share our outlook on life without also judging another outlook in the process!) it did not take long for me to recognise a pattern and perhaps a source of this need to judge. Sometimes as we make breakthroughs in our own behaviour we leave others behind and I have learned that this is OK. It is OK if we move on without judgement, sending only love and light to those we now see in a slightly different way.

Perhaps they too will experience breakthroughs in their lives and our paths may cross again when things are more in alignment...

my [indulge] photo shoot

2012-01-23T19:21:00.001+11:00

These images are some of the only quality pictures I have of my adult self amongst the 25,000+ photos I keep lovingly stored here on my trusty Mac. To be honest they are a little spooky and I often find myself looking at them intently, wondering who that person is looking back at me. It also gives me a big fat dose of the creeps posting SO many pics of just ME here on my blog, however this is more about the experience and pushing myself out of the creeps so here I go!!

This is an email that I wrote to Renee Bell the day after she took these pictures, the day after I experienced one of her [indulge] sessions...

'Renee you are fast becoming my very own personal photographer and I am loving it!
Mostly because it is not just about the camera, not just about the photo, not just about whether my crazy hair is sitting in just the right place.

As I am sure most women feel at times, placing ourselves firmly behind the camera becomes a safe place from which to capture the world around us. Life experience, a little wisdom and a lot of self love has allowed me to venture out from behind the camera lately.
I knew that I would only want to venture out in front of the big scary lens with the right person, with the photographer whose style and depth of talent I felt a sense of connection.

Renee your style has always 'spoken to me' and the world of social media, blogging and connecting online (where I spend most of my nights whilst my toddler is tucked in and dreaming) is where I first came across your work.

As a bit of a fuss pot with most things in life, including champagne, music and photography - there are only a handful of photographers who I took the steps to make contact with when I first decided to be brave and get in front of the camera with my little man.

After taking that first leap into our beautiful Mother/Son Beloved shoot and spending the weeks following in awe of our images I was SO excited when you offered the solo shoot.
(Excited plus slightly scared, thoughts running through my mind included 'how on earth was I going to cope on my own in front of the camera with nobody to distract me from my nerves!)

But then there was the thought of having my 38 year old self frozen in time, in a way that I knew would truly show ME, and that was quite serendipitous, and a little bit spooky as well.

Losing my Mother when she was only 48, and in fact actually only 38 when she had the car accident that changed my life forever, has been on my mind a lot lately.

On my mind because I am that exact age that she was when the accident took her from us for the first time through her brain injury.
On my mind because the accident happened in the month of December.
On my mind because her 60th birthday would have been this Boxing Day.
On my mind because she died in the month of January.

Spending the hours that we did together in our beautiful city last night was a little bit surreal. When you asked me to describe myself with words that started with each letter of the alphabet I instantly knew that this shoot was meant to happen at this exact moment in time, in my life.

One of the ways that I have always dealt with anxiety and in particular at night, is to do just that, think of a word to describe myself using each letter of the alphabet, it was as though I had been practicing for your question all this time...

A is for authentic
B is for brave
C is for compassionate
D is for driven...

There were moments as your questions lifted the edges off my firmly guarded thoughts when I instinctively prepared a response in my usual orderly style. I loved the chance to sit, stare and speak when prompted - of course my nerves and discomfort with the lens took a little while to fade away...

Afterwards I felt a real sense of exhausted peace, as though I had indulged in some therapy of a different kind. A soft, reflective kind of therapy with no boundaries, no expectations and no fear.

The story of my life is usually written in my own words, carefully crafted with accompanying images mostly of others. Thanks to you I now feel much more at peace with including pictures of myself in the story!'

Why Instagram makes me so (h) appy!!

2012-01-22T12:58:00.001+11:00

Photos freeze my memories, tuck them away safely so that I can see them, touch them, feel them always. Since high school my love of the camera has resulted in an abundance of moments captured,suitcases stuffed with packets of photos from the pre-digital age, and a Mac at bursting point with my 5 figure iPhoto collection.

Since mid 2011 my iPhone has slowly worked its way into prime position for happy snapping! Of course my beautiful Nikon DSLR can never be replaced, there is just something so appy about the iPhone and the world of iphoneography within which I love to immerse myself.

The Instagram Effect is such a wonderful article upon which I stumbled this weekend...so eloquently analysing the seducing allure of this simple app. I found myself nodding my way through Clive's brilliant commentary on this rapid revolution in the way we capture and share our worlds.

"What Instagram is doing, along with the myriad other photo apps that have recently emerged, is giving newbies a way to develop deeper visual literacy"

Yes, yes yes!! Exactly what he said!! Far from the negativity I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with as cynic after cynic laments the decrease in interaction as mobile devices take over our lives...I agree with passionate enthusiasm that anyone is capable of seeing their own world with increased depth and appreciation through the lens and simple filters of apps like Instagram.

We are surrounded by objects, people and environments and it is often the case that as we hurry through our days and our lives we do not truly SEE these things. By taking the time to stop, frame something with our lens, freeze it in time and then add some personal touches we are in fact increasing the incidences of being in that moment.

Clives says, and I could not agree more "Today's tech is often blamed for producing a generation of people who stare at screens. But sometimes it opens up a new window on the world."

Instead of making an instant judgement of someone engrossed in their mobile device, or for joining in with the tech-cynics so quickly...take me as an example and consider that there is a whole new world of creativity, friendships and shared passion for utilising the amazing new tools we have before us in a way that enhances our life experience and allows our inner photographer to flourish!

come into our home...

2012-01-07T13:44:00.001+11:00

Our home is a light filled sanctuary, tucked away in a little suburban village in the south of Sydney. At times we stay in here for days on end, there is so much love and light that there is no need to leave.

Our homes are the places where we nourish ourselves, and for me being a true homebody there is no more healing place than settled in amongst my treasured belongings and people in our home.

At the ripe old age of 38 I call myself a bit of a hippy mixed with a bit of the Eastern Suburbs LOL! I love handmade, homegrown and vintage however this is balanced with a zero tolerance for cheap champagne and bad food!

Every little thing in my home belongs here for a reason, there is no better path to inner peace than surrounding ourselves with the things and the people that feed our souls xx

My word for 2012 is extra-ordinary

2012-01-06T13:46:00.002+11:00

(Illustrations by Meredith Gaston)

Inspired by (and this happens regularly!) Susannah Conway I recently spent some beautiful ME-time unravelling 2011 and dreaming about 2012 (no cheesy, unfulfilled, unrealistic 'resolutions' in sight you will be relieved to know!).

Susannah provided this workbook on her blog and I was instantly motivated to be at one with this printed piece of soul food, my daybed, my thoughts and my scribing.

At the heart of this exercise is the selection of a 'word' for 2012 and my list of 20 plus became 2 hot favourites within minutes:

Authenticity OR Extraordinary.

To be honest, living authentically is something that I believe I have nailed over the years and although it will always be at the top of my list of values it has become much like water in that it is now essential and life sustaining!

So, Extraordinary jumped at me from the pages of this workbook, sitting alongside the many other words that I carry with me in my daily essentials. What does it really mean, to me?

Personally, the 'ordinary' has become a bit of a signal to me that I need to step things up a little. For me, going above and beyond gives me that extra flutter in the tummy, that sense of zen that comes with knowing one's calling and not just knowing but doing and being one's calling.

So to be a little, or a lot, more than the ordinary, the expected, the mediocre...this is my intention for 2012. For me being extraordinary is not about being super human, better than others or showing off. It is about tuning into what makes ME feel alive and knowing how to use the passions that define who I am.

It is about taking those extra steps to achieve my dreams rather than just write about them, creating a legacy for my lifetime, nurturing the most authentic little human being in my precious son and going to bed at night with that deep sense of contentment that gives life depth and meaning.

So, it may seem ambitious? Perfect!

My Mum's 60th - what would it have been like?

2011-12-28T15:30:00.003+11:00

(this post was originally published on my events blog joy and me)

Susan Joy inspired the name and the heart of my events passion, she was the catalyst in my charity work, she would have turned 60 today if she was not taken too soon. At the age of 48 Susan Joy died too young after living with an acquired brain injury for 11 years, and advanced breast cancer for 6 years.

It is not the most joyous post for me to write, or to gather inspiration for – in fact it is something that I have wanted to write about for quite a while yet not really felt that I had it in me. However this Christmas, as the date of her birthday loomed I was inspired to think about her in a different way than usual.

How would she have wanted to celebrate her 60th birthday? What would she have looked like at this age? I was only 16 when she had her car accident and the woman we knew changed forever. It is hard to say how her tastes might have changed if that moment when she lost control of the car had never happened.

In my mind she is always young, pretty and petite. She is vibrant, a little bit of a hippy and most content at the beach or on a picnic. Since the thought of planning her 60th birthday came to me just before Christmas I ventured on my usual virtual search for celebration inspiration. This time it was a little sombre, also a little exciting at the thought of dreaming about how we would have celebrated this milestone as a family.

It was not hard to find the colours, the pictures, the inspiration that instantly reminded me of her and painted a picture in my mind of this party that I will only ever experience in my dreams. Hopefully she is out there somewhere and can see what I have gathered.

It is a little bit beachy, in the outdoors, lots of bright blue and orange and sunshine. Family, friends and colleagues gather as they always did around her…the food is fresh and amazing, prepared with love by friends and the atmosphere is good old fashioned carefree fun and laughter, just the way she liked it…

Christmas Fantasy and Christmas Reality

2011-12-21T20:17:00.000+11:00

The shiny, perfect fantasy of Christmas that we see in the shops and on TV is often far from the reality of this season for many people. As an optimist and lover of all things festive and celebratory, I also have a deep sense of empathy and a burning desire to shed light and create a sense of community in the hearts and minds of humanity (shivers, no wonder I am so busy!!).

It is all too easy amidst the chaos of this season to find ourselves snapping at the children, scowling at others in the busy supermarket, moaning at the sight of yet another queue to join and taking our little frustrations out on anyone and everyone in sight.

The next time you feel a sense of despair at the missing tree decorations, the burnt turkey, the annoying family member or the gift that you wish you could swap for something more exciting - spare just a little of your thoughts (and channel all of that negative energy into your blessings) for:

- The young widower and his 3 children under 5 whose 30 year old Mother died of a heart attack whilst she was busy planning her newborn's first Christmas.

- The Mother whose newborn baby is on life support after having open heart surgery, their Christmas tree still in a box along with their hopes for a simple celebration with family.

- The homeless single Mother who in her desperation for another drink has spent the last $5 she had hoped to use for a gift for her toddler.

- The family consumed with their grief since losing a much loved Father, Brother, Son and Friend in Afghanistan this year.

- The children who fear this time of year because to them it means louder and even more frightening arguments at home.

- The lonely elderly lady who aches for a visit from her busy young children and grandchildren, wondering if they will at least call.

Yes this list is getting a little depressing, and it could go on and on with examples of people and families for whom Christmas is not the fantasy, in fact for many people it is a harsh reminder of what they have lost, what they are missing and what could have been.

It is only ever my intention to shed some light, by highlighting the reality of this season for so many of those amongst us in our communities I hope that YOU are able to count your blessings, remind yourself that things are probably not THAT bad ... and if they are, reach out and tell someone! (tell me for starters!)

If you are fortunate enough to have an abundance of love, food and hope then may I ask that you take just a few minutes to appreciate that? If you think about others and what they might be facing, maybe you might find that those yucky feelings taking the shine off your baubles could be better used to put on a smile and take a look at your own world a little differently.

pretty . peony. pictures

2011-12-14T19:54:00.000+11:00

The Great Health and Wellbeing Debate

2011-11-29T19:56:00.000+11:00

This image has inspired my thinking around the hugely contentious health and wellbeing debate - should we be eating organic? detoxing? having colonic irrigation? quitting sugar? ... so much to consider and so much conflicting advice at times!

Recently I completed an 8 week regime to remove sugar from my life, guided by the Sarah Wilson ebook. The first few weeks I found quite easy, there were a few binges here and there however overall I learned a lot about the way that my body reacts to sugar. It is pretty much a poison, and I could tell the difference whilst it was removed completely from my life. However, I have chosen to introduce 1-2 pieces of fruit back into my day, as well as the occasional sweet treat!

Since this experience I have also learned:

- Firstly and most importantly, life is short, yes our health and wellbeing is hugely important and will contribute to just how short our lives are however there are many great pleasure to be had! If we deny ourselves those culinary pleasures we associate with celebration, sharing with loved ones and nourishing our souls then we can be left feeling a little empty!

- Its all about balance! Yes you can have your cake and eat it too as far as I am concerned, unless of course you have been told otherwise by a medical expert! Preparing a homemade cake with organic ingredients and sharing said cake with little and big loved ones is one of my great pleasures and I do not plan on quitting this anytime soon!

- There are many bad, bad foods out there being marketed in many tricky ways! Its best to select things as close to their natural source as possible, avoid the freezer section of the supermarket, remember the less ingredients in a listing the better, fresh is best and good fats are GOOD.

- It is SO important as parents to lead by example, and a Mother who constantly calls herself fat, punishes herself for various eating habits and generally loathes anything to do with her appearance is setting her children up for a lifetime of the same sad behaviours! Embrace your curves or whatever other features you tend to attack, try treating yourself with respect instead of criticism and you will be amazed at the amount of time you have for celebrating instead of regretting. Create a sense of balanced enthusiasm around food, include children in the preparation and cooking and the sharing of meals with loved ones.

- A simple check of the nutrition panel on sauces, tinned food and other grocery items has given me a great insight into the sugar laden products out there. Its quite easy to remove these from the trolley as a contribution to a more balanced eating regime. I always checked these for fat not sugar, I now understand that sugar is worse than most fats!!

Life should be enjoyed, our souls need nourishment as well as our bodies so listen to your inner hunger and feed it with those things that you know will satisfy you in the heart and soul as well as the appetite!

Life is TOO short for ...

2011-11-17T21:04:00.000+11:00

Here are a few little things that perhaps might not need the energy or attention that we sometimes find ourselves dishing out for them...maybe that energy would be better placed elsewhere...

Life is TOO short for ...

♥ Ironing sheets, or anything else unless it is required for an important business meeting, first date or very special occasion.

♥ Scrubbing bathrooms, just give it a wipe down and a squirt of eco friendly cleaner after use and this will maintain the appearance of cleanliness. Seriously, nobody is going to notice that we have not bleached our showers for months. We have lived in our little home for almost a year and I can count the number of times I have scrubbed the shower on one hand. It has not caused any nasty health conditions or frightened any guests yet.

♥ Getting stressed in traffic, the toxic adrenalin that is released into our bodies whilst fuming in traffic is life shortening. Just use the time to make (safe) phone calls, listen to uplifting music, learn something on podcast or entertain your little passengers with loud singing.

♥ Washing dishes, a dishwasher can actually use less water than the old school method. It does not take long to throw the dishes after each meal into the machine, taking the time to rinse and stack neatly defeats the purpose and they get washed just the same from my experience.

♥ Suffering in a job that does not give you some JOY, this one gets me going. We all have choices, we have the ability to create boundaries and if we have enough passion we can simply make it very clear to those around us that we have values by which we live our lives. Since leaving the corporate world over ten years ago I have not once in that time felt anxious, upset or worried at the thought of going to work, not once. I hear of people who spend every Sunday night in a self induced misery thinking about going to work the next day...that is a lot of precious time being wasted.

♥ Losing sleep over people who do not share our precious life values, as we mature and acquire true wisdom there is often a shift in some friendships if values are not in sync. This is something that I have struggled with over recent years however with time the realisation comes that this can be a natural process and acceptance of this is quite peaceful.

♥ Cheap sparkling wine, this one gets me going too, and often sparks passionate debate at dinner parties or BBQs when my Bollinger sits next to someone else's Yellow. I work hard, I do not spend copious amounts of money on a mortgage, cigarettes, drugs, a car or designer label clothes. My drink of choice is real champagne and I would much rather linger over one bottle of something that I truly savour than hold my nose and scull a few bottles of something that tastes like medicine.

I may turn this into a regular little post...I would love to hear your thoughts on what you consider life is too short for too xx

Finding time for Friendship...

2011-10-30T13:49:00.000+11:00

A recent report commissioned by Baileys Australia asked almost 700 women across Australia about the pressures they face, about their jobs and responsibilities, their worries, and what takes up their time. Overwhelmingly these women identified that they would love more time to be able to spend with their friends.

Today whilst reading the Sunday papers, the issues of having children late and aspiring to the SuperWoman myth surfaced yet again and I was reminded that I consider myself one of the lucky few.

Baileys hosted a ladies late lunch recently and ran a competition to reward women with this experience, winners were asked to invite a friend to the lunch. Set on Sydney Harbour...featuring fine wines, a 3 course lunch, leading social commentators and a Baileys inspired dessert it was the perfect opportunity for everyone invited to 'make the time' for one particular friendship that we treasure.

Since being approached about the research and exploring some of the the resulting report it has highlighted for me my many blessings. Again at the lunch I sat amongst some enthusiastic nodding and many AH HA moments as women embraced the notion that cleaning our showers should not be a priority and that heading out to lunch with the girls should not come with a side order of guilt.

My teen life propelled me into adulthood faster than the Baileys disappeared at this lunch, so at the ripe old age of 38 (this week) I felt a deep sense of wisdom and a little lack of true empathy with the majority of the women at this lunch. My levels of guilt around self care, prioritising friendships and saying NO are pretty much non existent. Life gave me the kick in the butt I needed to step up and care for myself when depression and anxiety settled in amongst my 20s and 30s. I had no choice but to learn some coping strategies if I wanted to not only survive but thrive and enjoy this precious life.

It was interesting to witness the transformations and moments of clarity in the women around me at this lunch, I felt blessed as well as compelled and motivated even more to share my own experience because I can see that there are many, many women out there who are seeking enlightenment and a positive change in their lives. In fact this report highlighted that 81% of Australian women would like to make a big change to their life, WOW, that is a lot of wanting...makes me wonder what is it exactly that is stopping all of these women?

Whilst listening to the stories and the examples of change that women shared on the day of the lunch I was reminded that by sharing we are caring...here are some of my simple suggestions for 'making the time' for the things that feed my friendships, and my soul:

♥ Utilise technology: sometimes late at night after a 12 hour day of daycare drop off, work, preparing meals, volunteering and taking care of myself I think fondly of a special friend. It may be too late to call or text however its never a bad time to post a message of love on their FB wall, or send a favourite photo in an email with a special note.

♥ Plan ahead: keep a special little calendar for the dates of your special friends birthdays and set yourself some reminders well in advance so that you can prepare to surprise them with a gift or message that will remind you both of what you share.

♥ Self care is not optional: schedule at least 30 minutes each day in your calendar for yourself. My self care routine is different each day and includes things like guided meditation, running, baking, blogging, reading, taking photos or writing.

♥ Evaluate: your friendships. This is a tough one for some, life has shown me that true, lasting friendship is percious and so is our time here on earth. Surround yourself with the people who lift you up, those who make your heart happy and the ones who you know will be there for you when you need them most.

♥ Set some boundaries: this is so important in the workplace as well as our personal lives. For me it is about being able to say NO firmly and confidently if I am asked to do something or commit to something that does not sit well with me or that contradicts my core values. In the workplace I am clear about the times that I am available, in my personal life I know when to let the phone ring and decide to get back to someone if it is going to impact on my time and commitment in that very moment.

How do you embrace change for a more balanced life?

Micro Manage or Just Be (with your babies) ??

2011-10-20T10:20:00.000+11:00

Prior to Motherhood I had those best laid plans that I suspect most passionately organised women scribe neatly into their goal journals at some point in time...regular play dates, music classes, baby gym, Mums and Bubs yoga... I had a lovely (long) list of educational places to visit and a determination to provide all of the structured learning and bonding opportunities possible for my firstborn.

It has been just over two years since Mini G blessed me with the presence of his sweet little soul and it became clear to me quite early in our journey together that (on top of the sheer exhaustion of single Motherhood) I preferred the more organic experience of a Just Be approach to parenting. This is not a technical term as far as I know, it only recently occurred to me that I was engaged in this lovely style of BEING as a Mother.

A wise friend of mine who has been a hugely successful swim coach for decades, was the catalyst for my switch in mindset when he gave me the very blunt advice that swimming lessons before age 3 were possibly a waste of time and money. Whilst I insisted that he begin to map out a plan for Mini G's introduction to the water well before he had even left the safety of the womb, he snapped me out of my planning frenzy with this enlightening little learning.

Since then I have released the need to fill a little diary with outings, carefully scheduled lessons in all things cultural and instead embraced the ease and joy of just being in the moments with my little Mini G. Of course we have been to the Zoo, the Mums and Bubs movies, playgroups, parks and shared many other special places however the times when we tend to laugh the most, hold each other really close and create the most vivid memories are when we are free of the rush, the packing, traffic and noise.

Looking back I am so, so pleased with my ability to allow a more natural style of parenting to unfold. Especially as a single Mother with a lot less time to spend with Mini G than most Mothers are afforded, this has been the very natural and right way for me to develop as a parten.

As I think about the alternative it occurs to me that all of those lessons and associated structure may have resulted in even less time together to simply learn, BE and savour the many precious and fleeting moments of childhood. For me it is just not necessary to fill the moments with activity so that life can be filled with magic...the magic comes when we least expect it and when all around is quiet.

Do you tend to Micro Manage or Just Be as a parent? Would love to hear about your own experience, we embrace ALL parenting styles and believe that sharing our own unfolding and endless learning is a beautiful way to remember that we are all in this together!!!

Sugar Free !!! Week 2 - how it is for me.

2011-10-12T09:59:00.001+11:00

Sarah Wilson has been one of those lovely public figures from whom I feel a sense of authenticity radiating ... for this reason I am drawn to her blog and take a keen interest in her eating habits and the philosophies behind them.

The release of Sarah's ebook pictured above was well timed for me, as I struggled with tiredness during the day and an insatiable appetite for sugar late at night. I was a little desperate for some direction on how best to make a significant change to my lifestyle and the I Quit Sugar ebook spoke to me - LOUD and clear!!

Sharing is Caring so I thought it might be nice to post about my experience, as someone who LOVES to bake and who honestly believes that cupcakes should be a food group this is a HUGE undertaking for me. It is my plan to follow the 8 weeks that Sarah outlines and then re introduce the occasional treat, cupcakes will always be a part of my life!!

Personally I have found it best to remove sugar completely from the start - Sarah suggests a gradual release of the sweet poison however I decided to dive in cold turkey and it has worked well for me. Firstly I observed the places that sugar appeared in my life:

✿ 1 teaspoon per cup of black tea each day, on average 4 cups / teaspoons.

✿ Big slurp of honey on my cereal each morning.

✿ Brown sugar in my porridge when I made that, usually 2-3 times a week.

✿ Chocolate every night after dinner, usually 2-3 rows of a large block of dark organic choc.

✿ Ice cream after dinner 1 night a week. (always Maggie Beer or something gourmet!)

✿ Incidental sugar in some of the sauces I was using including chilli, BBQ, sweet chilli.

✿ Cakes, cupcakes, muffins and other baked goods are a weekly activity with my little man.

✿ 2-3 pieces of fruit per day.

As you can see, all of this regular consumption adds up to huge amounts of sugar per week, and I consider myself a fairly healthy eater!

Anyhoo, it was time to begin this experiment and determine whether the removal of sugar from my diet would help ease the tiredness, the slowly bulging belly and the post breast feeding weight gain. So all of the above have been eliminated from my daily consumption completely and this is how my typical day is looking at this stage:

✿ Breakfast is either a bowl of sugar free, untoasted muesli with full fat milk, unsweetened yoghurt and cinnamon. I am currently eating The Liver Cleansing Muesli from Coles, and Jalna Whole Milk yoghurt.

I have also created a sugar free pancake mix with 1/2 cup of unbleached SR flour, 1/2 cup of brown rice flour, 1 free range egg, 1 cup of full fat milk and 2 tablespoons of shredded coconut, I have a couple of these with a bit of pure butter 2 times a week and I am making these with Mini G instead of cakes for now.

Other days I have porridge with milk, the yoghurt and cinnamon.

Once a week I have lean bacon and eggs with mushrooms.

✿ Morning tea I have green tea, Corn Thins Organic Sesame with slices of full fat cheese and some avocado. I find that having this cheesey snack late in the morning eliminates my sugar cravings!!

✿ Lunch I have some protein (either tuna, chicken, shaved turkey, roast meat) with lots and lots of salad and some haloumi or boiled egg.

✿ Afternoon tea I have green tea and if I am hungry some more salad. I snack on cheese again late in the afternoon if I have a sweet craving.

✿ Dinner is varied, I cook a lot for family so I don't put a lot of restrictions on my dinners except that they are 100% sugar free and I don't include a lot of carbs at dinner unless I am really craving some pasta then I eat that with tuna or salmon.

✿ I find that drinking a lot of green tea when I get the fidgets and am looking for a treat helps, I have always done this though so I was prepared in this sense. Create a ritual with your tea making, treat yourself to some pretty cups and nice teas!

Hopefully this is helpful for others who are considering this 8 week plan. I will be back with further progress over the coming weeks...this is just the beginning.

What is The Girl Effect?

2011-10-09T12:01:00.000+11:00

As I sit in my beautiful little apartment in the Sunny suburbs of Sydney, typing on my Macbook, syncing my new iPad and checking text messages on my iPhone with my 42" plasma as my backdrop I consider myself blessed and perhaps even a little self indulgent. (I also cringe a little as I reflect on my abundance!)

Balanced by my regular financial contributions to several chosen charities and my many hours spent volunteering, as well as my career as a Professional Fundraiser I have come to a place of inner peace at last. Around me though are those with little appreciation for their abundance, filled with envy and greed as they strive for more and more and more of the things that they believe will give them a sense of fulfillment.

Judgement of others is not high on my agenda however the influence and inspiration of others is up there with being a brilliant Mother. This weekend I indulged in a little consumerism, prompted by a week of anxiety and much sadness as I live through one of those curve balls that life enthusiastically dishes up when we least expect it!! In my post retail therapy high I move into my usual phase of seeking an outlet for my philanthropic desires and stumble into the world of Tara Mohr.

Gratitude and a sense of belonging fill me as I discover more about this remarkable woman and in particular her passion for The Girl Effect. In a lovely serendipitous coincidence my discovery of this campaign is aligned with the 2011 Girl Effect Blogging Campaign and I find myself wanting to share this movement through my own little online space, and so here we are!

As a woman who has been blessed with a safe childhood, an exceptional education, life changing mentors, financial stability, loving family and friends, an abundance of choice and the empowerment of a healthy self esteem and independence I believe that it is a part of my life mission to give a little of that away to others who have not had the same privilege.

It is my pledge today to stay connected to The Girl Effect community, learn more about how I can share my own life experience and abundance to ensure that girls living in poverty are given the opportunities to create better futures for themselves.

The Little Moments

2011-10-04T18:24:00.000+11:00

There are times when life is just simply overwhelming...these are the times when I try to focus on the little moments. In the midst of sadness, disillusion, exhaustion, questions and self examination it can be very helpful to pause and BE in the moment.

These are some of the little moments from our long weekend, the rain and cold weather was a blessing that facilitated the simple pleasure of family life indoors. As I reflect on these moments a sense of peace replaces the anxiety that I am currently struggling to keep from taking hold.

If you feel a sense of overwhelm, stop and focus on the little moments...they have big possibilities.

Beautiful Photography Workshop

2011-09-30T13:44:00.000+10:00

There are so many beautifully talented portrait photographers in Australia...I have hours of dreamy FUN meandering through their blogs and admiring the abundance of naturally stunning work.

Angie Baxter has been a longtime favourite of mine...Angie has a very natural and fresh eye for capturing the intimacy and the heart and soul of people. These are some of my favourite pictures from Angie's blog and I was fortunate to attend one of her workshops last weekend.

Mini G and I are generally laying pretty low at the moment, it is the very busy time for me with my national fundraising campaign at the moment so I am focused on doing my best and achieving as much as possible for the cause. (If you are interested it is Loud Shirt Day that I currently manage nationally.)

As always there is also lots going on outside of work and my priority is always to have a nice balance. So the Sunday that I spent with Angie Baxter and a group of other lovely women was such a nurturing and warm experience. Despite the heavy rain and lack of outdoor shooting we learned from one of the most patient, passionate and authentic people I have had the pleasure to meet lately. Angie is just simply one of those women who radiates sincerity and gentle warmth, and they are my favourite kind!

The simple, relaxed and thorough way in which Angie presented her workshop was just perfect for me. It reflected Angie's style of photography and her patience with each and every one of us throughout the day was just lovely.

Watch this space for some upcoming shots putting my increased knowledge and renewed enthusiasm with the DSLR into loving action!

For me...and YOU

2011-09-22T14:32:00.000+10:00

This poem is speaking to my soul, and my soul sista {Sunny Mummy} right now, so we just had to share!

After a while you learn the subtle difference, between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning, and company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts, and presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats, with your head up and your eyes open,

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today, because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans.

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn…

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong and you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn…

With every good-bye you learn.

By Robert Burns

LIFE beyond Motherhood or LIFE plus Motherhood?

2011-09-01T14:08:00.000+10:00

Whilst on a recent weekend away with my soul-sista Stacey (aka Sunny Mummy) we found ourselves lazing on daybeds under the arching and seemingly endless expanse of the verandah at The Byron at Byron Resort and Spa...a tropical rain was falling, the air was still and fresh, the staff were beyond attentive (in the right way) and we languished between long moments of serene silence and the contrast of hurried, over excited conversation...

During one of the many moments of silence we were asked by a lovely Mum closeby if we were OK if she changed her baby's nappy...of course, we were more than just OK, I myself being all too familiar with the need to sneak in a change whenever and wherever needed! I think this Mum was a little surprised to hear me tell her that my little man was still in nappies...we could see her mind ticking over as we made the difficult choice of whether to order more coffee or switch to champagne, and which of our magazines was next on the reading list...

'So there is life beyond Motherhood then' she said smiling, her face suddenly bright with the hope that one day she would might herself in a similarly favourable position as we were blessed to find ourselves in!!

It has been on my mind since returning from this amazing weekend, on my mind because it made me realise that perhaps there are a lot of women waiting for a life that is actually happening right in front of them? How many Mums out there can't see past the poo, the lack of sleep, the tantrums, the baby talk and the routine of Motherhood? It would be such a shame to think that some might not realise that there can be LIFE plus Motherhood!

Yes that's right, with a little careful planning and a lot of optimism and enlightened thinking us Mums can have a LIFE and it can even be FUN! Of course Motherhood is a lot of sheer hard work, we chose this work though, and for the majority of us its been a lifelong dream so why on earth would we want to just wish it away until 'beyond Motherhood'?? For me a cold hard dose of reality check always brightens my thinking, things could be a LOT worse in my world, I would rather just get out there and enjoy the moments in each day than wallow in the poo that occasionally comes my way, or complain about the washing that never seems to end...some people can only wish that their problems were this insignificant!

Since returning from the bliss that is Byron Bay I have a renewed sense of BEING, in the moment, in the happy places, in the thick of Motherhood and I choose once again to just keep it real. For me that is how I create a sense of LIFE plus Motherhood. Dare I say it again, life is just too precious to wait for LIFE beyond Motherhood, by then it might just be too late!!

My Happy Places

2011-08-25T19:53:00.000+10:00

Print from Etsy

Happy Shiny Places and Happy Shiny People - this is my choice! Since living a life tinged with tragedy, loss and heartache for so many years since my 16th birthday I now make the conscious choice to create lots of Happy Places, including this space right here, my blog.

There has been so much darkness in my life, so many struggles to accept the loss, and of course the daily challenge of my inner demons...so why would I want to surround myself with more darkness, more dark people and more cynicism?

Yes its a cliche however no other words speak more truth to me...life is fragile, our time is precious. It seems to me that there are only a handful of people who really, really get this and that handful I choose to hold tenderly in my heart and my daily life. My decision to take pretty pictures, hang bright and cheery things, paint my furniture white and focus on positive affirmations is all about me creating the space for me to just BE HAPPY for once, truly, deeply happy.

Some of my happy places include:

♥ My home of course, a blend of cherished white furniture, bright trinkets and a whole lot of love.

♥ My office, I chose my career, every day I wake and make the choice to spend time in my office.

♥ Fancy restaurants, nothing gives me more food joy than sharing fresh fancy food with special people.

♥ The park, we have the loveliest park on our doorstep and it is my happy place with Mini G.

♥ My blog, I do not come here to complain, in fact I only ever come here to meditate, this is my temple.

♥ The blogosphere, anytime I need a dose of happy, shiny pretty I have many frequently visited places.

♥ Facebook, where I can see what all of my happy shiny people have been up to!!

♥ Nelson Bay, the Amarna Resort, a family holiday hotspot where I cherish many memories.

SO, this is why I choose happy + shiny as well as REAL!!

Keeping it even more REAL!!

2011-08-22T16:22:00.000+10:00

Here I am, sitting at home on a recent Saturday evening with no make up, no bra, no special lighting and no Photoshop! Keeping it REAL!

There has been a lot of blogging about keeping it real this week, and as anyone who knows just a little about me will be able to affirm, there is nobody who keeps it more real than MOI! Some of the posts that I have read this week have me thinking and reflecting, for a change ;-)

As I have blogged about several times in the past, all is not always what it seems and we should never make judgements about anyone before taking the time to truly know what is behind the outward appearance and first impressions.

In the world of Mummy blogging there are endless places to take ourselves whilst travelling and exploring this huge wide world of heartfelt, honest and revealing stories of lives that we might otherwise never come across. Personally I choose to spend my precious time on a huge variety of blogs, I like a bit of a mix of personalities and writing styles, from the sublimely pretty to the rough and raw!

For me there is nothing more important than keeping an open mind, especially online. It is not my place to judge a blog by its banner... and I think its important to remember that although we are putting ourselves out here for all to read, for most people its still a very personal experience to share the intimate details of Motherhood and beyond.

My blog is the perfect representation of ME, I am far from perfect... yes I LOVE pretty things, I take lots of nice photos, I like to bake and I consider myself an optimist. These things are reflected in the colours, the images and the style that I choose for my blog, my home and myself. This does not mean that I am encouraging the concept of perfectionism, although I certainly strive for something only a little short of this in most things that I do in life, but that is a personal choice!

It simply means that I am HUMAN, I am REAL and I am proud of all aspects of ME.

- I collect pretty tea cups, I also shove things in drawers as a quick tidy fix.

- I take photos of lovely people and scenes, but I often look at myself in photos and critique everything!

- I share uplifting messages of hope, I also struggle with daily anxiety and self doubt.

- I wear nice clothes, but sometimes don't wash my favourite things often so I can wear them sooner.

- I make my bed everyday, I also put off washing my sheets for weeks sometimes!

- I am anal about my hair, but I don't wash it for a week - ten days usually.

- I consider myself a pretty good Mother, even though I am not into organised outings or classes.

- I try to set a good example for Mini G, despite having lived a very naughty pre baby rockstar life!

- I plan to teach and inspire Mini G to be smart with money, even though I have no financial stability.

How REAL are you?

Brain Injury Awareness Week - My Story

2011-08-15T11:51:00.000+10:00

Brain Injury is not a nice topic, its a bit mysterious, a lot scary and for me very personal. This picture was taken of my Mother and I when I was around the same age as my sweet little man turns today. Its hard to believe sometimes that she was so young, I am 38 this year with a two year old and my Mother was in her very early 20s in this picture! Age 38 for me will mark a significant milestone too, it will be the same age that my Mother was when she had the car accident that changed so many lives forever.

I was 16 at the time, working in my first part time job and enjoying the somewhat selfish life of a teenager with very little comprehension beyond my existence on the Central Coast. Due to the minimal age difference between my Mother and I we were close, my younger brother and I shared a home with her that was always filled with laughter, lovely adults, our friends, cooking and simple pleasures. Our parents had divorced years earlier and we had adjusted to the life of shared care.

The day of the accident was one of my first days in my new retail job and Mum had dropped me at work on the Sunday morning, there was a feeling that I could not shake that morning and as I sit here and write this post it comes back to me as though it were just yesterday when in fact it was over 20 years ago now. It was a feeling of unease, a darkness in the pit of my stomach and as Mum drove away from the carpark I waved and then tripped onto the escalator, the feeling amplifying in my stomach.

Its interesting when reflecting on times of tragedy, there are details that never leave you and there are those things that I struggle to recall and make sense of. The accident occurred on a quiet, winding road only a few hundred metres from our home, there was nobody to witness and no other car involved, only the telegraph pole that caused the impact and literally took my Mother from us that day.

Brain injury cannot be immediately seen, we were given the chance to see our Mother that day before she was transported to Sydney, we did not know if we would ever see her alive again so we fumbled into the emergency room and at first there were no obvious signs of the irreparable damage we would later discover. 20 years ago cars did not have air bags, the impact of a major collision with a telegraph pole on her skull was catastrophic. The Royal North Shore ICU became our regular place to visit, regular only in the sense of frequency, it has since become the most feared place in my memory.

It often frustrates me to see movies and fictional television attempting to depict brain injury, brushing over the reality in a way that just does not educate or prepare anyone for this experience. Of course I hope that nobody ever has to live through this experience however the reality is that they do and for me being somewhat prepared could have saved a lot of pain. As a 16 year old my comprehension of this injury was limited, and looking back I created a lot of barriers to becoming more educated, the overwhelming fear blocking many attempts by others to involve me in the support and education offered to my family.

It was a matter of denial for me for many years, we lost our Mother that day, on that road, and although I held onto hope for many years that she would somehow return in her mannerisms and spirit it eventually became obvious that her type of brain injury had taken all of that when it appeared so suddenly in our lives, leaving us with a stranger who needed to learn to talk, walk and take care of themselves all over again. The experience of living with a brain injury in our family was handled in many different ways by different people, looking back now I have my regrets and my sadness has not faded however at some point along the way I have been able to work through my guilt and forgive the 16 year old me, accepting that I was doing the best that I could do at the time, whilst my whole world crumbled around me.

We lost our Mother again when she did actually die in 2000, when her body was unable to fight off the advanced breast cancer that shattered our already fragile lives several years after the accident. The rehabilitation and the recovery from her brain injury was ongoing, agonising, complex and cannot ever be recounted in its entirety or its accuracy. It has become my passion and my purpose however to share the parts of our story that may somehow be recognised by others and in turn provide some comfort.

Brain injury is a cause close to my heart, and I feel a sense of connection to anyone else out there living through this in whatever way it has appeared in their lives. I hope that we as a society are able to provide the collective support that all people affected by brain injury need to know that they are not alone and that one day it will hurt less in their hearts.

Balance the Abundance

2011-08-14T16:07:00.000+10:00

Sitting here on a lazy Sunday afternoon in absolute blissed out happiness ... we have just spent the weekend celebrating Mini G's 2nd birthday and we have been surrounded, overwhelmed and grateful for so much abundance ...

♥ Abundant love from precious family.

♥ Abundant fresh and nourishing food ... and champagne!

♥ Abundant gifts given with such thought and LOVE.

♥ Abundant friendship, meaningful conversations and memory making.

♥ Abundant cake, cookies and all of our favourite treats!

♥ Abundant authenticity, REAL and simple celebration.

All of this has me thinking about the balance, keeping things in perspective and setting an example for Mini G whilst he is surrounded by mountains of pressies. Its so important to me that he is inspired to think outside of our comfortable surroundings and share our abundance.

So, this year I am introducing a very special birthday ritual ... following the unwrapping and the JOY of receiving we are going to carefully choose the older toys and books that we want to donate to charity. This is also a super handy way to keep things under control at home, there are only so many toys and books that a child needs, and that a parent can find the space for!!

In our home this will involve taking the time to sort through all pre-birthday toys and books, make a decision about which toys could now be passed onto children who might otherwise not be able to enjoy the simple pleasure that these toys have given to us. Books are a little harder for us because we are book lovers / hoarders!! I think that books are such an important thing to share with other children though so we will do our best to select some that we can live without!

Hopefully you might be able to think about creating a similar ritual in your home xx

Pretty Picture Therapy

2011-08-06T18:01:00.000+10:00

Blogging from the baby bubble today ... it's Saturday evening and my precious little man has been in a world of SAD for the last few days, his sleep is disturbed and he just wants to be HELD by Mummy.

It's such a HUGE mixture of emotions, the longing to hold him close, stroke his hair and make it alright ... and the longing for some sleep are both super strong.

So my therapy of choice today has been some pretty pictures and I have been blessed to discover Alice B Gardens on Etsy and these dreamy pics are helping to brighten my down day.

Single Parent Longing

2011-08-02T14:23:00.000+10:00

As a single Mum to my precious little Mini G, my firstborn, the light of my life ... I feel a deep longing at times, a longing that aches and also contradicts the reality of the exhaustion of single parenting.

At the end of a solo parenting stint the longing for a night of uninterrupted sleep is strong, as is the longing for some time to BE ME and restore my energy. It is a short lived longing as the repeated loss of shared parenting sinks in and our home becomes reminiscent of pre parenting times. Yes of course I appreciate and relish the time to myself, as someone who loves my own company I am never short of solo activities and am mostly grateful for the chance to enjoy a hot cup of tea, a magazine and the other simple things that were taken for granted before becoming a parent.

It is such an emotional cycle of longings though, often extreme and intense as one minute I am alone and aching for my little boy and then within the short space of several days I cannot find my patience and the reality of single parenting competes with the intense love I have for this little person. The exhaustion, the repetition, the sleeplessness and the sheer hard work have very quickly taken over the longing to hold him close and inhale his sweet smell.

Then of course the guilt surfaces again, reminding me that I should be grateful to have such a healthy, joyous child, that I should not crave time alone. As a single parent our time with our children is shared, it is precious and it is often less than that of the time available to those parents who are not sharing parenting. How on earth can we crave time alone and not consider it selfish when we are already on limited time?

This is my current dilemma, coming to a peaceful place within myself that allows for all of these conflicting emotions. Its a daily, weekly and monthly challenge to step back and look at the bigger picture, remember that I am in this situation for a reason, the bottom line is that our precious little man is better off in two happy homes rather than one unhappy home right? During the times of intense longing, analysing the impact of him being separated from one of his parents at any given time is easy to become entangled in, agonising over every little development in his personality. Why does he not get upset when he has been away from Mummy for so many days? Is this a good thing that he feels so much love in both of his homes, or is it a bad thing that he may feel abandoned by his Mummy when she lets him go with a big smile on her face so as to assure him that this is our way of life and its OK?

So the daily challenge continues, as I sit here writing this post I am battling a Winter chest infection and entering the 4th day without Mini G as his weekend with his Father was extended to allow me the time to rest and recover from my sickness ... the longing is intense as I miss his cuddles, laughter and cries of Mummy. How do we give that inner voice the flick and turn off the constant criticism that will allow us to simply be grateful and praise ourselves for doing the best that we can?

This may be the eternal question of Motherhood!!

Keeping it R E A L

2011-07-27T09:14:00.000+10:00

Blogging, for me, is all about sharing ... and I am a HUGE fan of sharing. There is nothing too intimate, too personal or too risque for me to consider holding back here, or in real life. I took a look at my blog from the outside recently though, and it struck me that its all very pretty, bright and happy happy joy joy at the moment.

Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of pretty and happy happy joy joy in our lives always, and these are the things that I have felt most compelled to share of late as the giddy aura of LOVE has permeated my heart and mind. In the interests of keeping it R E A L though, I think its important to remember that there are times when the bright and the pretty are outshone by the dark and the ugly.

I am a single Mother to a 2 year old toddler, I live with depression and anxiety and I still suffer from panic attacks. That sentence right there is a contradiction of pure love, daily joy, gut wrenching fear and sickening terror all rolled up neatly into one.

My Mini G is the love of my life, his sweet little soul is so easily captured with one of my various camera lenses ... at the same time though he has the stubborn streak of a 60 year old. He is feisty, knows how to throw an earth shattering tantrum at the most public of times and he makes his own decisions about what and when to eat lately. It seems like he is constantly getting over some form of snot related illness that has involved sleepless nights, struggling to breathe and me feeling like a drug pusher with my endless stream of paracetamol, herbal remedies, vitamins and elixirs.

The darkness of a panic attack is something I have not yet attempted to capture with any of my cameras, perhaps if I could it would make it that little bit easier to explain. It begins with a thumping of the heart, instantly recognisable as my mind begins to wander from the present moment into a deep dark place in the future or the past. As a panic attack expert of sorts, I am now able to use my breathing and my rational thinking to slowly coax myself back from the edge of this experience that threatens to cripple my senses and rob me of the basic ability to breathe and function. It then reminds me of the very real situation I am in, yes there is pretty but there is also a daily struggle to take my medication on time and work through all of the years of cognitive behavioral therapy to hold my head high and allow my inner optimist to shine.

Life is a contradiction at times, as we face the light and the dark in our daily ritual to be the best that we can be for ourselves, our children, our family, our friends, our colleagues, our blog readers, our neighbours and all of those people we consider worth keeping it real for.

Facebook = Connecting...my positive analysis

2011-07-03T15:10:00.000+10:00

It seems that the general consensus around Facebook is overwhelmingly negative...I have read so many articles warning us of the isolation, status envy and time wasting associated with this popular form of social networking.

As is usually the case I am swimming against the tide on this one and proudly proclaiming and explaining my positive experiences with what I see as one of the most incredible forms of technology and communication of our time.

As an optimist and someone who tends to see the positive in most things, I look at Facebook with a fairly simple and logical approach. It is a communication tool, one that is easy to access and easy to operate. The benefits for me as a sociable and open person are numerous and with this approach I find that the negatives have just not been a part of my experience.

Let me just say that there are a few simple rules with which I choose to approach these sorts of mass communication tools and they certainly contribute to my positive experience:

- No swearing, this is a no brainer - I don't generally swear out loud in crowded public places.

- Be nice, again fairly obvious to me - I treat people nicely and with kindness each day so online I do the same.

- No kids, my approach to this is pretty black and white - anyone under the age of 13 does not need to use Facebook and these rules are put in place for a reason.

- Keep it real, authenticity, honesty and open sharing are all important life values for me and extending these to the online space reflects them perfectly.

One of the things that I find in a lot of articles about social networking, and Facebook in particular, is the concept of status envy...apparently a lot of us are sitting in front of our screens green with envy as we watch update after update painting pictures of perfect lives, romances, smiling children and exotic holidays. Personally, there is nothing more fulfilling than the updates of my dear friends as life unfolds before our eyes...having a special place to share the details of our lives to those with whom we choose is just so cool!! The key point here for me is the choice, we choose who we include in our Facebook place...just as we choose our friends in real life.

Its not healthy to spend our precious time watching and wanting the lives of others...this applies online and in real life. Of course a measured dose of admiration is fine, there are many people who inspire me in different ways however my time is just too valuable for me to waste it away watching and wanting!!

Something else of importance is the range of social networking tools and their quite distinct purposes:

Facebook for me is about friends, connecting with my real friends in the online space. There are times when its just not possible to make 100 phone calls to let dear friends know that I am supporting a special cause, planning a trip and in need of advice or when I come across a photograph or beautiful piece of writing that is just too good not to share. The daily photo-log of my beautiful little man is just way too entertaining and uplifting not to spread around the lives of my friends via Facebook!

Linked In is for my professional connections, throughout my career I have met and worked with some wonderful people and this is the perfect place to gather them and celebrate our past, present and future work achievements as well as keep ourselves updated on professional areas of interest.

Twitter is a place for me to get a snapshot of the causes, interests, people and places that I have a keen interest in keeping up to date with. Its fast, short, sharp and a much healthier way to digest news than through the graphic and sensationalised television bulletins!

SO...keep it simple, keep it real and remember that we have such amazing technology in our lives these days and its easier than ever to connect and share the details of our life journey with those who we choose to include in our online places.

My Week - tragedy, chicken soup and humanity

2011-06-25T13:18:00.000+10:00

I can feel a long post coming on...hang in there...my mind is filled with cliches about perspective and gratitude as I sit with my cup of tea and blog, reflecting on the myriad of experiences this past week.

Where to begin...since leaving Sydney's Eastern Suburbs and settling nicely into the suburbs I have noticed a greater sense of community and a much easier path to know ones neighbours. Of course the East has its exceptions and I have made many lifelong friends in my neighbourhoods back there however on the whole its a lot more fast paced, impersonal and takes a lot longer to crack the smiles of fellow apartment block dwellers.

Our little block of ten here in the burbs has quickly become a place to retreat from the madness that is work, single parenting schedules, daycare, traffic and noise. We have formed some lovely connections and very quickly welcomed new friends into our home and hearts.

This week I watched as a young couple lost their miracle baby - the baby who they were told would not survive her premature birth last November. This kind little family endured the shock of an aneurysm during her pregnancy and the very early birth of their precious little girl who then went on to amaze them as she finally came home from hospital not long ago. It was something that I wish I could erase from my mind, the determined and frantic rescue efforts of ambulance officers to revive this tiny little life as she struggled to breathe.

The thing that I know will always overshadow this image though is the humanity I have been a part of this week. It has only been 4 months since we set up our home here in the burbs bubba and I - yet this week I felt as though my neighbours had been a part of my life much longer. We stood together this morning at this little baby's funeral and we cried together as our neighbours had to say goodbye to their little angel. There is nothing more heart breaking to another parent to watch as such a precious and loved little life is fare-welled.

It is very difficult to empathise, it is not difficult to turn our sadness into action though. I have been working on a very special chicken soup for these neighbours, lovingly combining the nutrients that I hope will give them just a little bit of strength as they begin to comprehend their loss. Its a little gesture with a lot of hidden meaning, the act of preparing food for someone who is grieving is for me one of the most natural and humane acts that we can perform for each other. The simple nourishment that is given from one human being to another through the bowl of soup cannot be explained, it can only be felt.

Putting into perspective my troubles at work this week, this experience has strengthened my resolve to live a considered and kind life, one that only ever brings love and light to others. Also putting into perspective the loss of a person who I had considered a friend at times this week, this experience has given me the insight into a long standing sense of confusion and obligation about this particular friendship. As another, true friend reacted - 'you have far greater people in your life to sustain you' I realised that indeed I do have many great people in my life who not only sustain me but who nourish me, and lift me up...the way that I hope to do for them.

wow, what a week!!

What cost authenticity?

2011-06-21T21:04:00.000+10:00

Recent times have me thinking about the cost of keeping it real...

How much am I willing to sacrifice in order to speak my truth, live in a truly authentic way and not compromise on my life values?

Over the past couple of years, since becoming a Mother actually, I have watched as some friendships dissolved and upon reflection it seems that most of them were relying on me to keep certain feelings and beliefs beneath the surface. The decision to lead a life of real and uncompromising authenticity does indeed come at quite a cost.

The friendships that now exist in albums and memories only have left their mark in positive and negative ways...they have shaped me and they will always be a part of me. The loss of a friendship can be likened to many other periods of grief in our lives and the sadness becomes a part of the process. My resilience is fine tuned, empowering and essential when treading the thin line that is the genuine life.

Professionally it is a challenge to speak my truth whilst working for others - hence my lifelong dream to launch my own philanthropic venture! Could there be anything more authentic than turning my passions and skills to the creation of my own non-profit?

As my resolve to speak my truth only seems to strengthen with time so too does the need for me to accept the losses that come with keeping it real!

I am wondering if anyone else feels this sense of sacrifice?

Self Care

2011-06-08T21:30:00.000+10:00

Self care is an essential part of positive parenting...especially if depression is also present and a part of the daily routine.

Recently I organised a little 4 day escape to Hamilton Island...I am blessed to have the freedom of leave from work and as a single parent I am able to schedule self care when Mini G is with his Father. I know that not everyone has these supports and opportunities in place to prepare for this level of self care...

Self care does not have to be extravagant, it needs only to provide the care that YOU need to revitalise, nurture and nourish yourself. Here are some ideas that could be slipped into most schedules:

✿ Indulge in a nourishing / celebrity free magazine such as Frankie, Real Living, Donny Hay and sit for at least 30 minutes with a cuppa in the sun.

✿ Download a meditation app for your phone and spend at least 10 minutes at a time when you can each day to STOP and just BE.

✿ Plan some little getaways, there is nothing more fun and rewarding than exploring the beautiful places in our own backyards...it need not cost a fortune, a weekend drive and overnight stay is often enough to clear the mind and prepare for a mini fresh start.

✿ Surround yourself with the people who lift you up...this is the most fundamental element of self care, to ensure that your precious time is spent with those people who appreciate YOU and who provide the positive life energy that you deserve.

✿ Schedule some solitude into your diary, just the way that you schedule other activity its essential to ensure that you have at least one block of time on your own each week...for me its a non-negotiable that I have at least one night per week on my own at home.

✿ Ask for help, accept help and do not be afraid to admit that you need help...this has been a long and painful process for me to realise that accepting help is not a sign of weakness, it is a mutual reward to engage in the process of sharing sorrow as well as joy.

Looking through our window...

2011-05-30T21:46:00.000+10:00

Just a little glimpse into our home...

this is how I see the world, looking at the beauty in the everyday...

its a view that I can highly recommend.

Women of Style - Words of Wisdom

2011-05-28T14:04:00.000+10:00

My eyes and heart are always open for inspiration...of all kinds. My love of magazines is not about lusting after pretty things that I cannot afford, its more about spotting the way an outfit has been put together so that I can translate the look to my own wardrobe.

My interest in celebrities is close to non-existent, I have enough of my own parties, family complexities, rich tapestry of life and lessons to be learned without the time to concern myself with these things in people who are a million miles away, literally!

The latest issue of Instyle magazine appealed to me because it was The Style Issue and I am often inspired by the amazing women I have the privilege to learn more about through magazine awards and interviews. It was such a refreshing pleasure to read about the lives and motivations of the women who were blessed to be recognised in this issue and the recent Women of Style Awards.

Words of Wisdom littered the pages that these women graced and I just had to share the true pearls...

Lisa Ho "I'm still learning. I don't think your education ever stops. You have to have an open mind."

Karin Adcock, Pandora "Work at what you are good at, surround yourself with strong people, then you be the glue that keeps it all together."

Ronni Khan, Oz Harvest "I believed in doing more and wanted a legacy. I wondered what my purpose was in life."

Miranda Otto "I try not to judge or compare myself to other people; I'm running my own race."

Jacqueline Arias, Republica Coffee "I have vivid memories as a child of weekends spent with my parents, picking fruit to help farmers make a decent living, all without pay. It taught me that its not always about what money we make, but also about what we can give back."

Mother-less Day

2011-05-06T14:26:00.000+10:00

Mother's Day can be a very difficult time for those missing their Mother, those who have lost their Mother, those who have a negative relationship with their Mother, those who have never known the true meaning of Motherhood...and for many other reasons.

It has been just over 11 years since I lost my Mother to advanced breast cancer and a brain injury...she was only 48 years old at the time so it was a loss that has been difficult to accept although it has certainly resulted in a lot of life lessons for me personally.

Since becoming a Mother myself for the first time almost two years ago, Mother's Day has become slightly less about loss and a little more about new life. Mini G is not yet old enough to understand the concept of celebrating Motherhood however he reminds me each and every day that I am the Mother I am to him because of the influence of my own Mother...and despite the very tragic and impactful loss I have experienced, for every tear of utter sadness there is another tear of utter joy that will be shed as Mini G slowly helps to heal the hurt in my heart.

So for anyone who does not feel the joy of Mother's Day in the same way that those around us sometimes expect or just assume...we send you our LOVE and LIGHT xx

My Vision

2011-04-30T20:47:00.001+10:00

Inspired by THIS Sunny Mummy post I am sharing My Vision!!

Vision Boards have been a part of my life for many years, I strongly believe in the very powerful yet basic concept of manifesting that which we visualise for ourselves and our lives. My current vision board has been put together over the first months of 2011 and it sits on the wall at the foot of my bed so that each morning and night it is IN MY VISION!

My interpretation of this concept is simple...the images and words that I choose to assemble on my vision board are those that represent my dreams and goals for my life. At present these include images of style that I admire and emulate, destinations that I believe will nourish my soul, women that I admire and respect, settings that give me a sense of peace and purpose and visual representations of the things that I am working towards achieving.

The words that I choose to display are usually quotes that inspire me and lead me on my true path, including:

♥ The Power of Love.

♥ The Secret of Happiness.

♥ Health is a state of complete harmony of the body, mind and spirit.

♥ How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

♥ A Life Less Ordinary.

♥ Good Deeds.

It is my HOPE that by sharing my vision I am able to inspire someone else to manifest their dreams...take the simple steps to moving them out of your mind and into reality. In the past I have felt great motivation, inspiration and a sense of purpose as I carry out this process...are these not great enough results alone for such a simple exercise?

Learning the alphabet of life...

2011-04-17T13:03:00.000+10:00

The alphabet is one of the first things we teach our little students of life...and it has me thinking beyond the letters and into the values and traits I aim to teach Mini G by example. So here is my alphabet of life:

A: authenticity - be real, be yourself, speak your truth.

B: beauty - is everywhere, we need to open our hearts and our minds to find it!

C: compassion - take the time to care for others, ask how someone is and listen.

D: daring - be brave, take risks and have adventures!

E: extraordinary - think outside of the ordinary, go above and beyond mediocre!

F: funny - be funny, see the funny, laugh at yourself, don't take things too seriously.

G: generosity - be generous with your time, your love and your abilities.

H: happy - keep it simple, tune into what gives you butterflies and you will know happy.

I: intuition - listen closely, sit in silence, don't talk too much and you will truly hear.

J: joy - feel the joy in each and every moment, joy is in everyone, learn to release it.

K: kindness - the simple act of kindness has the power to change lives.

L: love - use the word often, you cannot have too much love, the more the merrier!

M: memories - our most precious gift from one generation to another, share them often.

N: nice - be nice, always, expect nothing in return, feel the inner and outer glow.

O: organised - it really does make life easier, make some lists and break goals down into pieces.

P: passion - discover your passion and follow it, don't do anything without your passion.

Q: quiet - meditate, remove yourself from the noise of life for at least a few minutes a day.

R: reflect - don't dwell in the past, simply reflect with an open mind and be gentle on yourself.

S: self care - do at least one thing a day that nurtures YOU.

T: thoughtful - consider others and what you can do to make them feel loved.

U: unique - look for the thing or the person who stands out from the trend.

V: vivid - life is filled with colour, and colour improves our mood, live in full colour!

W: wonder - always look at life through the eyes of a child, see everything as a miracle.

X: xtra - develop a career that is true to your passion and always do that little bit xtra every day.

Y: youthful - the feeling of youthfulness need never fade, hold it tightly in your heart and never let go.

Z: zany - be a little silly, don't be afraid to be different.

A little for a lot, or a lot for a little?

2011-04-05T20:04:00.002+10:00

(image from here)

Yes its a bit of a confusing question...let me explain...

This morning I was thinking about the concept of feeling busy all the time, overwhelmed with things to get done each day and ideas to be acted upon. Friendships form a huge part of my life, they always have, and of late they seem to have changed a lot in many ways.

Is it better to have a little bit of time for a lot of people, or a lot of time for a little number of people?

It seems that my perception of friendships has changed, as the true colours of many people I considered friends showed themselves over the past year.

Personally, I would rather have a lot of time for a few people, fewer quality friendships with more time to be together, know each other and be a part of each others lives.

At this point my thoughts are drifting towards Sex and the City, four women with a lot of time for each other, quality time on a daily basis, regular contact and intimate knowledge of each others lives, that is my friendship style.

In the past I thought that gathering large numbers of friends was my style, the higher the number on Facebook, in my address book and contact on my phone felt better. Slowly I started to appreciate a lower number, and more time, less people = better quality. Although I do crave the noise, warmth and comfort of a large family I appreciate the quality connection that comes with less people in our intimate and daily lives now.

18 month old + IKEA = major meltdown

2011-04-01T15:52:00.000+11:00

picture from here

18 month old + IKEA = major meltdown, indeed! I am not quite sure what I was thinking when I packed us into the care this morning and headed for IKEA...oh yes now I remember...I was thinking that we would cruise through IKEA, Mini G sitting high in the trolley, giggling and pointing at the pretty things, then we would choose some nice picture frames together, grab the armchair cover I needed, stop for a little play in the kids section and finish up with a nice lunch in the cafe before heading home for his nap...

Well, today I was initiated to that very special experience called the 'public tantrum' - and as many times as I have played it out in my mind there was really nothing that could prepare me...it seems that I may have underestimated the depth of my little angel's tiredness this morning, after a restless night he certainly seemed chirpy enough as made our way through the traffic on route to IKEA. My poor little bestie only made it as far as the kid's section, the train track to be precise, before his runny nose, lack of sleep and Mama suggesting that we might have some lunch before our first public meltdown began...

Prior to Motherhood I was one of those people who wondered why on earth anyone would bring their children to IKEA? Surely there could be no benefit to such an outing...this morning my high hopes and optimism of a lovely Mother-Son outing clouded my better judgement. Mini G had not yet displayed any signs of public tantrum tendencies so the thought had never actually entered my mind!

Anyhoo, it was a test of my newfound patience to watch, choose my reaction and deal with his meltdown today...one thing I did notice was a distinct lack of 'sisterhood' from the other Mothers in our vicinity, and I even copped a glare and shake of the head from a man who had clearly not had children of his own or simply forgotten about this type of incident! Overall I was extremely proud of my ability to take a breath, keep calm and attempt to radiate some of my own surprising patience onto Mini G...to be honest I cannot even remember what is was that finally calmed him enough to allow us a quick trip to the cafe and a hasty exit...phew, its one of those experience that I am trying hard not to over analyse yet why was it that the other little ones around us had not gone into meltdown over the train tracks...was it something I did, or did not do?

Blogger's Block!

2011-03-31T21:08:00.000+11:00

I think I currently have 4 posts in draft form, each of them started today as great literary works in my head and then fizzled from my fingertips through the keyboard and here I am with the worst case of Blogger's Block since beginning this online journey!

These stunning 'Clear Blue' pictures are from A Creative Mint - one of the many blogs in my Bookmarks folder titled BLOG LOVE...the place where I pack myself of to visit at times like this when writing anything inspired seems unachievable...here is proof that 'the blues' can be bright! These pictures are the break from my Blogger's Block tonight!

Hello again!

2011-03-25T09:38:00.000+11:00

Here we are! Gosh I feel very neglectful of my lovely little blog however am finally emerging from the flurry of activity that comes with settling into a big move, taking on an exciting second job and getting oneself organised for a plentiful year ahead!

It has been a time of little sleep, something Mini G and I are certainly not accustomed to! My little angel baby has been sleeping 12 hours a night since he was 12 weeks old so this sudden change in his sleep at the ripe age of 19 months has been a shock to the system. I am torn each night between the head and the heart as he cries out for me frantically when I place him into his once loved cot and hope for the best!

Along with the move has come his first experience at long daycare, although only once a week and very much enjoyed it is one of many big changes in his tiny little life. I suspect that the frantic longing for Mamma during the night is perhaps some late onset seperation anxiety as he slowly adjusts to this new life...a life that he has not chosen mind you!

As someone living with depression and anxiety the issue of sleep deprivation is a very important one and spending much of the night calming and reassuring Mini G does take its toll however my heart speaks loudly and there is a reserve of energy somewhere inside that always gets me through those days (like today) when sleep has been broken and the memory of 12 hours undisturbed seems so distant...

proud of ME!

2011-03-15T19:38:00.002+11:00

It is finally time for me to take a big breath…exhale…

Since making the decision to move from the Eastern suburbs and finding a place to call home in the Southern suburbs it has been a crazy flurry of activity to gather belongings, organise movers, sort and declutter…all of this running alongside single Motherhood, the demands of work, and taking on a second job!!

phew…besides the physical exhaustion I feel an incredible sense of pride!! It was my goal, my new year resolution to find a home for Byron and I to share and create the next instalment of our memories. My fears had been rumbling around in the depths of my tummy, warning me that single Mothers are not looked upon favourably in the rental market…at times the rumbling became so loud that I almost lost my nerve!

As in times past, my fears have been quashed, and replaced with the most wonderful sense of achievement!! I could not be more proud of ME right now, sitting here in my own special space, surrounded by the things that give me peace, listening to the sounds of suburban life and soaking in the serenity that comes with one’s own sacred space!

It has always been my dream to be able to afford a little place without having to share with anyone else, to have the confidence to head out into the rental market on my own and stand tall! Of course I am making the most of life as a single Mother, the path that I did not expect to tread yet the path that has so far taught me many lessons, connected me to many others and fuelled my resiliance and inner optimist!

This path has also been tainted with loss, and the disappearance of many friends who I was perhaps mistaken about all along. In retrospect, it becomes quite clear that my depression, anxiety and regular uncertainty became a bit of a bore for many people, required too much effort for those who have always been more concerned about the simplicity of the material, the outward appearance…

At this stage it seems that quality is of more importance than quantity, taking a step back from the abundance, the noise and the chatter gives me the clarity that I need to see things in a new light.

Facebook...good or bad?

2011-03-01T19:07:00.000+11:00

(Pretty picture from here)

'Facebook is perhaps not the best place for depressed people. When you're feeling lonely and forlorn there is no worse thing than hearing about the fabulously shiny lives of others, full of parties and beach holidays and wacky supermarket experiences with their toddlers'

This excerpt from an article in the latest Sunday Life magazine has me in a spin, and its not the only part of this somewhat condescending opinion piece that has had me feeling disappointed and concerned.

Social media is in fact one of the most accessible and affordable ways to reach out when feeling isolated, and as someone who has struggled with depression for more than ten years it disappoints me that a writer who seems unfamiliar with that struggle would suggest that depressed people don't like to hear about the 'shiny' lives of others.

Its interesting, as well as devoting a high proportion of my life to overcoming depression and anxiety I also attend parties, have been on many beach holidays... and wacky supermarket experiences with my toddler are a regular occurrence. The fabulously shiny lives of my family and friends on Facebook are in fact most often sources of inspiration, trips down memory lane or simply the intimate sharing of the precious moments that make up our lives and are better shared than hidden away.

Honesty and authenticity are two of the most important values for me, although there are times when I hesitate to share every detail of the daily reality that is depression and anxiety...the majority of my experience is openly disclosed, and the reason for that is very simple, I know the darkness of isolation and the power of social media to shed light and extend a virtual hand for self help as well as reach into the hearts of others is powerful.

In fact since sharing so openly through social media I have heard from many women who may have otherwise continued to sit in the dark...they have responded to my sharing by thanking me, connecting with me and opening a little of their own struggles, and some of them have even shared the 'shiny' moments, because although we may at times feel lonely and forlorn there are other times when we also shine.

The Daycare Decision...

2011-02-23T13:26:00.001+11:00

Its been a long sometimes painful decision process, that I am sure most Mothers at some stage have shared with me...

Mini G is 18 months old, he has a vast array of words in his little vocabulary that I know will soon form perfect little sentences, the sound of his voice is like a carefully crafted piece of meditation music to me...

Here is where my fear stems from...how do I explain to this little soul who looks to me for the comfort that his tiny body and huge heart craves, that Mama needs to leave him for a whole day in a place filled with unfamiliarity?

The centre I have chosen is new, beautifully designed and obviously well run, I instantly felt at ease when I first cautisouly entered, will Mini G feel the same though? Will he realise that Mama has deliberated for months and months over whether she can live with her decision to take on a little more work and slowly improve our financial situation? Is there something that I can say or do to translate this decision into the language that he speaks so clearly to himself yet the rest of world can only hope to understand?

It is my hope that the BIG love this little angel is surrounded by always will fill his heart and soul to overflowing so that when he looks around at daycare and wonders for just a moment where I am there will be enough inside to comfort him.

In my heart I know that this is a decision that will bring us both more joy, we are soon to share the nesting phase of our own little home and we are truly blessed in so many ways...my commitment to developing my own sense of financial and creative freedom is underpinned by my absolute commitment to be the best Mother than I can be to my sweet little Mini G!

Leaving the East...

2011-02-20T13:05:00.000+11:00

(Pretty picture from here)

This post has been evolving in my mind for quite a while...so many things have led me to the point where I am ready to leave Sydney's Eastern Suburbs, something that a few short years ago I would have laughed about and dismissed as ridiculous!

Bondi has been my home for almost 15 years, only a recent move 3 beaches south interrupted my love affair and cemented my lingering thoughts that maybe this wasn't my home in the true sense of the word anymore. The Eastern Suburbs lured me from the Central Coast with its salty air, abundance of life and sunset cocktails, the must-haves of my late 20s and early 30s...its not that they no longer exist, rather that there are other less coastal priorities.

The East quickly became a place I considered my own piece of paradise, despite the crowds, sunburnt backpackers and post holiday trash on our precious beaches...the secluded places in which I created many memories and entertained loved ones varied from shoebox on a cliff to homely semi style living with tropical back yard.

These treasured memories have been captured from behind many different camera lenses and many different stages of my life journey. Slowly though, as the credit card debt mounted and the feeling of belonging in my seaside village began to fade, my thoughts of venturing elsewhere grew stronger and stronger.

The friends that I made here have also faded away with that sense of belonging...circumstance combined with a sense of confusion about their values has resulted in there not being a lot left here for me. Of course there are the friends who have become family so that distance will never matter...the others I am leaving behind with a sense of loss as well as acceptance that some people come into our lives only for a season.

Its funny that the things we once looked upon as highlights can quickly become the things that bother us, maybe this is a natural part of aging but I also see it as a murmuring from within that its time to look outside of our comfort zones.

Suddenly I could only see the people driving with no thought for others, the perfectly groomed Mothers on their phones in their polished 4 wheel drives, no regard for the safety of their own children or the community within which they exist. The anger on the beach, the cigarette butts and the remnants of those who had driven from their steaming homes to scatter their lives and McDonalds wrappers on our sand...it was all just getting too much for me.

These things were all a part of the process of me becoming more aware...aware of the opportunity to relocate and leave behind the things that were simply not a part of my life anymore.

The East will always remind me of the relationships, the celebrations and the moments that have all led me to this moment in time. It was a place that allowed me the incredible growth of my late 20s after the loss of my Mother, the place that became the backdrop for my evolution from self-centred career woman to outwardly focused fundraiser and philanthopist.

Its not about regret, bitterness or insulting a lifestyle that was once very much my own - The East gave me so much and taught me some of my most valuable life lessons and for that I am eternally grateful, its just that its time to move on now, fondly and filled with hope!!

I'll be ok...just not today

2011-02-16T14:36:00.000+11:00

Image from here

It's ok to have days when you're not ok...

Although my aim is always to inspire others, its important to recognise and share the reality that things are not always sunshine and lollipops when living with depression. Combine depression with perfectionist tendencies and the result is a lot of self pressure and internal expectation!

It's ok for your day to drift by with not a lot of ticking off your to-do list...

The harsh reality of depression is that there are days when it takes a monumental effort of mental and physical strength to complete the most basic tasks...getting out of bed, choosing some clothes, preparing breakfast...tasks that on most days happen without a thought process, on instinct. The pressure that we place on ourselves as Mothers is often unrealistic and with the other pressures of single parenthood and depression its especially important for me and anyone else living with added pressures to practice self care and accept that we may not be ok today.

Today I am overwhelmed, the optimism that gives me that extra bit of ooomph I so often need is tired...overworked and in desperate need of a break! So I am left with little defense to beat off the hazy darkness that sometimes clouds my vision and my outlook. Home hunting, being alone, anxious, working, hoping...these things are swirling in my mind and my body.

I'll be ok...just not today.

Moments of Motherhood (MOM)

2011-02-12T14:39:00.000+11:00

This is my favourite 'Moment of Motherhood' so far (although let me tell you that there are MANY to choose from!) - I love this dreamy picture of Mini G drifting off into breastfeeding bliss...the little fingers holding mine, the look on my face and the tiny little soul adrift in never land.

Motherhood can sometimes seem a little bit of a blur so capturing the magical moments and reflecting on them, sharing them and keeping them forever and always in our hearts and minds is so important.

I would love to see some of your Moments of Motherhood too! If you would like to share and reflect please click here and feel free to add some of your Moments of Motherhood to our Facebook page.

Is your environment making you happy?

2011-02-09T20:14:00.000+11:00

These are the things that I see whilst sitting at my desk in the office - Mondays and Tuesdays I enjoy the role of Marketing Manager at Niche Fashion. This week I snapped a few pictures of my office environment and thought about how much our mood can be affected by the things around us.

If you spend time in an office its important that you feel inspired and energetic so that you are performing as effectively as possible, the same applies to your home environment whilst engaging in the very important role of Mother! Its not about the material things for me, my belongings have little financial value...I am not a collector of the latest most stylish homewares nor the expensive high tech electronics that fill so many homes! My belongings are minimal and all have a special meaning attached to them - it may be that they were discovered in an op shop, given to me by a loved one or perhaps they are something that gives me a sense of peace.

Our environment surrounds us, it has a huge impact on our sense of self and centeredness. It does not need to cost the earth to create an environment that will nourish, energise and contribute to a positive mood. As someone who has the daily goal of keeping my anxiety and depression well under control I can assure you that spending a little time and effort surrounding yourself with things that make you happy!

What is quality time? - Part 2

2011-02-08T20:02:00.000+11:00

(Pretty picture from We Heart It)

Thank you for all of the passionate comments and emails on my recent post about quality time, which you can read here. Reaching out into the hearts of my blog readers is one of the most wonderful and rewarding blessings in my life!

It was a comment left by 'Natika' that prompted me to continue this topic into a Part 2. Natika shared very beautifully and honestly her recent discovery that absence is what makes her heart grow fonder and I was in total agreement. Motherhood is indeed a whirlwind in the initial years and at times we can feel a sense of being consumed or overwhelmed and longing for the freedom and independance of our lives pre bubba/s!! Taking some time out can often be fraught with Mother guilt as we struggle to reconcile our feelings of relief with those of angst about leaving our babies for any period of time!

As a single Mother I certainly struggled with the concept of having regular days and nights away from my precious little man initially...it hurt to let him go although I knew how much joy he was experiencing whilst spending time with his loving Father. Slowly as the routine became more familiar to me I learned to utilise the time of my own in a way that can only be described as 'regenerative.' Despite the longing and sometimes aching of several days and nights away from the touch, smell and BIG love of my angel baby I can now look at the time on my own as a blessing for us both.

As Mothers we need to practice top quality SELF CARE, a concept that is often quiet foreign to women. It was actually something I learned about during my work with cancer patients managing a support program...self care in that role was ESSENTIAL and I have quickly learned over the past 18 months that it is also essential in my role of Mother to Mini G. Without self care I cannot be the best Mother that I can be, without my own physical and mental wellbeing I am not able to provide the energetic, contagious and inspirational parenting that I have been waiting my whole life to release from the depths of my heart and soul!!

It was such a serendipitous moment to read Natika's comment and smile inwardly at the shared learning of taking time to nurture our own souls so that we can best nurture those of our precious little ones. Of course I was also reminded of my beautiful friend Sunny Mummy as this topic unfolded...the philosophy of shining through Motherhood stems from taking care of ourselves first so that we can be the best we can be for our families.

What is quality time?

2011-02-06T20:35:00.000+11:00

An article in the paper last Sunday written by a high profile Mummy blogger has had me thinking since reading it...this particular Mummy chose to utilise the precious entire page in one of the most popular forms of media she has been blessed with to reveal and justify her dislike of playing with her own children. At first I thought perhaps it was a little tongue in cheek, a bit of fun and poke at her own lack of patience however on further thought I have realised that we all have different perceptions of how we define quality time.

The photos above were taken today of Mini G in the kitchen helping me bake cupcakes this afternoon...over the last 36 hours this was the most energetic activity we shared. Amongst other things we paddled in the wading pool, constructed several different Duplo farmhouses, enjoyed each meal together, cuddled on the loungeroom floor, played a memory game, relaxed in the bath, read many books and generally just enjoyed each others company, in the true sense of the word.

Mini G is not quite at the 'game playing' age, however many of the things we do together are unstructured play and involve a lot of sitting, BEING and playing. Prior to Motherhood I was very bad at just sitting, breastfeeding was the first experience of my life that allowed me to SIT and BE without the overwhelming desire to get up and clean something! To be honest it took me many months to surrender to the power of the breastfeeding and its massive life lesson.

Playing with our precious little souls, whether it be structured or free form is of HUGE importance to their development in so many ways. In my mind it is also of HUGE importance to their sense of importance, their sense of our commitment to them. I suspect that even ten minutes of our time is actually equivalent to hours in their minds. Surely we can all commit to a few of these irreplaceable sessions of play without the need to attend to other things, what is more important?

Yes we have busy lives, busier than ever according to the media! The demands on our time are huge and there is more pressure to achieve as Mothers than there was for other generations...is this really the case though? Perhaps as a naturally organised person I am able to ensure that there is ALWAYS time to play with the little life that I willingly bought into this world. Is Motherhood not about nurturing, placing the absolute importance of our roles before anything else?

How do you define quality time with your children?

GREAT expectations

2011-02-04T14:07:00.000+11:00

Image from We Heart It

How often do you feel a sense of disappointment? It has taken me some deep soul searching and a bit of therapy to realise that my own expectations of others have been contributing to a lot of my hurt.

The inner optimist I am blessed to call my friend and biggest fan always brings me back to a sense of gratitude and a confidence that allows me to appreciate my many blessings. Amongst those blessings are the personality traits that have been nurtured within me by a combination of parenting, a profound awareness of the world around me, life events and more recently Motherhood.

Beyond the personality traits are the values that I treasure and choose to share in the most authentic way, including compassion, generosity, charity, kindness. During times of reflection I would describe myself as thoughtful and giving, always on the lookout for any opportunity to make someone smile and feel LOVED.

As much as the sense of pride prevails so to does a sudden realisation that these traits and values are not necessarily shared by everyone in my life, as much as I may want that to be the case. Great expectations can lead to great disappointment...trust me, upon reflection I have experienced this many times. I think its time to admit to myself that I may not be always practicing what I am preaching!

'If we expect nothing then everything else is a beautiful bonus!" - a phrase I find myself using a lot with loved ones yet apparently not walking the talk on this one. Relationships of all kinds are influenced by expectation and although we can expect the basic human rights we are entitled to beyond that its a big universe of potential let down if we let ourselves create too much expectation of loved ones, family, friends, colleagues, lovers...

It was with a sense of relief that I finally let go of my expectations around the way that others should be treating me and what they should be doing to nurture our relationship. It has been a long time coming, a long time filled with confusion, argument, anxiety, conflict and lots of hurt, my hurt.

If we take a moment to step outside of our own expectations, look at them from the other side...we may well see that what seems like a simple thing to us may in fact be not so simple to the person we are expecting it from. Yes its a twisted, painful exercise (well it was for me!) to reconcile that sense of letting go whilst at the same time still wanting to argue that 'its really not much at all that I need!'.

It is a work in progress for me to let go, expect nothing and savour the beautiful bonus'.

Home Hunting - 'hello universe'

2011-01-24T20:45:00.000+11:00

(all images from this New York Times article)

In the midst of my home hunt I am feeling motivated and HOPE-ful! The time has come for the inner peace, contentment and nesting that gives me so much JOY.

Its been a while since I have felt these things, too long. Of course I am grateful for the journey and I will savour the many moments that make up my memories of the houses Mini G and I have been blessed to share over the past year.

'hello universe' - I am putting it out there in your inbox that ITS TIME! We are blessed, we are grateful and we are now ready for a place to call home in the true, true sense of the concept. An inspirational person once told me to dream BIG so these beautiful images capture my dreams of our home!

Hang in There!

2011-01-24T13:02:00.000+11:00

This is a little something I put together this morning...a collection of my positive thoughts, personal strategies and ideas for living with depression or simply getting through a time of darkness.

Feel free to share, there is no better way to shed some light in times of darkness than to reach out to someone who you know may be feeling alone, unsure, frightened, anxious or depressed.

It is my hope that in 2011 my humble little blog might make its way out into the hearts, homes and lives of more people who need to feel the reassuring touch of familiarity...it is often the case when living with depression that nobody in our family, home, office, school, group or circle of friends can really understand. Yes there is empathy, sympathy, support and encouragement...and as much as this contributes to recovery and enlightenment it does not reach right into the darkest corner of our soul where the depression hides in the same way that familiarity and shared experience can.

Hang in There is my message to anyone who is struggling, anyone whose dark times are out numbering the love and light. The sun will shine again, and from my own experience it can shine even brighter for having been so dark.

Loss

2011-01-18T12:45:00.000+11:00

Just came across this quote and it sparked my thinking of loss on a deeper level. In the midst of my own grief just two weeks since my beloved Pa died I am surrounded by the thoughts that accompany huge loss.

Loss can take on any form...we learn of the impermanence of things as life goes on and the things around us often don't last. We lose something pretty much every step of the way on this journey called LIFE. As a relatively new Mother I am now familiar with the constant loss that sits beside the rapid growth of our precious babies. It seems as though every day I am losing something fleeting as Mini G learns, grows and develops. There is a sense of loss as he learns more words and loses a little more of his baby-ness every single day.

The thing that really hit me in the pit of my twisted, grieving stomach when I saw this quote was the beautiful truth in that for everything we seem to lose we at the same time also gain. It may not be the same thing however its something designed perfectly to fill the empty space that the loss created. It is as though there is a grand plan in place somewhere in this vast universe within which we all exist...a plan to replace the void left behind by the loss with something shiny and new.

The loss of my sweet Pa is still very raw, grief takes its time and we often have little control over its impact, in fact I think we are best to let it come and go of its own accord. Its a process that we need to embrace in a way, of course I suspect we would all choose to slam the door in its face when it came knocking however this is not an option.

Mini G represents the new life that has come into our world to begin to fill the void of our loss. The pure joy that he radiates from every pore has been designed to coax the love back out of our broken hearts.

The choice to regret or rejoice is not an easy one, and personally I think that letting go of something or someone is also a process that we need to explore at our own pace. To rejoice in what we have had during a time of loss is certainly a wonderful way to ensure that we can carry on with our precious memories and hope for the future.

Eulogy for Pa

2011-01-12T13:51:00.000+11:00

Our New Year has begun with the loss of a very dear loved one...my Pa and Mini G's GG (great grandfather)...Pa has been struggling for some time since having a fall just over a year ago. Our family has spent much of the holiday season by his side in the hospital, keeping a constant and vibrant vigil to remind this very special man of the life and love he has inspired.

We had a lovely, intimate, family focussed funeral to celebrate Pa's life this week and I had the privilege of speaking about the man who has taught me many things in the 37 years I knew and loved him. I strongly believe that the lives of our loved ones should be honoured and remembered so by sharing my eulogy I hope to further honour the very special life of my Pa...

'It will be 11 years next week since we came here and mustered the courage to farewell my Mother Susan Joy - she was 48. Today our family is here again to farewell my sweet Pa Raymond Frederick Egan who made it to the ripe old age of 89.

The last 12 months have been very difficult for Nan and Pa, the strength and will to live that Pa has always displayed pushed him through the initial recovery from his fall, rehab, a hip replacement, in and out of hospital fighting infections and then sadly deteriorating over the last month.

During this time Na stepped up and showed us all the true meaning of marriage, family and selflessness, taking on the role of carer and constant companion with her daily trips to the hospital.

We are all blessed to have such a strong woman in our lives.

Grandparents are such a wonderful part of growing up and Pa has taught me many things.

Children see their grandparents through rose coloured glasses and thats the way I believe it should be.

It is only when we become adults ourselves that we become curious and learn more about the people behind the hugs, treats and wonder.

Raymond Frederick Egan was a husband, Father, uncle, brother, son, friend and colleague...these things I can't comment on, it is the role of grand father and great grandfather to Byron that I knew and loved.

I would describe Ray as gentle, kind, polite, always well dressed, cleanly shaven and easy going. He was a man of few selective words and often selective hearing as well.

Pa, and now Byron, have shown me the beauty of the early morning, rising early for the best part of the day. Up until his fall just over a year ago, Pa was still rising at the crack of dawn for his early morning walk to collect his beloved daily paper.

Pa inspired my love of tea, I always knew that there must be a very good reason for his cup after cup so after many years of watching in wonder I recently gave it a go and have not looked back!

Pa was the reason that I developed a love of the cricket, some of my fondest childhood memories are of hot Summer days sitting under the fan with Pa watching the cricket and listening to the 12th Man on vinyl!

It was always my dream to give Nan and Pa a great grandchild as a way of repaying some of the immense joy that they have given me. What a beautiful thing that Byron and Pa shared over the last 16 months together.

Nan recently found an old diary whilst tidying Pa's room for his return home from hospital, on the date that Mum died he had written...farewell Sue, see you again one day.'

It is our hope that Pa and his precious only daughter are together again.'

Welcome 2011!

2011-01-03T19:00:00.000+11:00

Happy New Year to our readers, these are some snapshots of our Christmas.

The past year has been one of huge loss, learning and growth...its time for new beginnings!

Watch this space!

Lessons learned in 2010

2010-12-21T20:32:00.000+11:00

As the end of the year approaches and thoughts turn to celebration, reflection and aspirations for the brand new year ahead I find myself thinking about the lessons learned in 2010...

♥ Most significantly I have learned that I have an incredible inner optimist, resilience and ability to keep calm and carry on! It sometimes takes a couple of personal crises to remind me of these things however I always manage to find the strength to pick myself up and move onwards and upwards.

♥ Thanks to some very disappointing and upsetting circumstances with people I considered close friends I have learned that friendship is about quality, not quantity!

♥ Motherhood teaches me lifelong lessons every single day, including the importance of being in the moment and the value of patience.

♥ I have learned that some people cannot be reached on the deeper level required to truly LIVE rather than just exist...this one is still a 'lesson in progress' and the next step is to know when to let go of trying to reach them!

♥ Asking for help is not something I practice as well as preach however in 2010 I learned that it is not a sign of my weakness and that when you ask the right people you often receive the most wonderful gifts of love and support.

♥ A place to call home is becoming increasingly important to me for many reasons and this year I have learned that having my own space in which I can create, nurture myself and Mini G and gather loved ones is essential to my wellbeing.

I would love to hear what you have learned in 2010 ♥

The giving season - our favourite charities

2010-12-12T14:08:00.000+11:00

Blessed I am to be Mother to this precious little soul, and so at this time of year it is particularly important to me that my role of Mother includes the valuable life lessons of the giving season.

As someone who has worked within the non-profit sector in Australia for almost ten years I am well aware of the huge number of causes we are presented with. The choice is extensive and often overwhelming, we are approached by email, phone, on the street, in the mailbox, television and social media.

How does an individual and a family select the cause or causes they will support at Christmas when there are so many in need. There are tens of thousands of charities working tirelessly in Australia to improve the lives and outcomes for the unwell, the disadvantaged, the disabled, the orphaned, the abused and those in need.

Of course a lot of individuals and families select a cause that is close to their heart, a cause that has become a part of their lives personally. Since our family has been touched by brain injury and cancer these are causes close to my heart. Since becoming a Mother I now have a special place in my heart and my philanthropic efforts for the care of young children who are unwell, abused or in need.

Below are a couple of charities that have a special place in my heart personally, and that Mini G and I intend to support this Christmas and in the coming years. I encourage you to incorporate the lesson of giving in your parenting, the lesson of looking beyond our own lives and extending the generosity of time or the percentage of our earnings that we can afford to touch and improve the lives of others who are in need.

The Alannah and Madeline Foundation has a vision that every child will live in a safe and supportive environment. Their mission is to keep children safe from violence and their work includes the provision of essential items for children in emergency care, anti bullying campaigns and violence prevention.

The Kmart Wishing Tree Appeal is a wonderful way to share the joy of Christmas with children who might not otherwise experience the simple pleasure of opening a gift. Simply visit your local Kmart store, take a tag from the Christmas tree and attach it to a gift that you have chosen for a specific age group.

Let me know your thoughts on giving ♥

WISH-ful blogging

2010-12-06T19:50:00.000+11:00

Image from We Heart It

I thought it might be nice to reflect a little, and then cast some wishes into the blogosphere. There are so many special people here online, opening their hearts for all to see...I would love to share the 3 things I am most grateful for in 2010 and the 3 wishes I have for 2011...will you join me?

♥ I am grateful for the endless, overwhelming and precious love of Mini G. The role of Motherhood to this little person is an absolute JOY and I wake each day motivated to be the best I can be for him.

♥ I am grateful for my inner optimist, my resilience and my ability to keep calm and carry on no matter what comes my way!

♥ I am grateful for the feeling of safety and abundance that comes from living in such a wonderful place as Australia. The fresh food, beautiful weather and gorgeous scenery in our backyards is unique and too often taken for granted.

✶ I wish for the good health of every one of my close family, there is nothing more valuable than the energy and comfort that comes with being healthy.

✶ I wish for a home, Mini G and I are still a little adrift, although currently sharing a lovely house, we are dreaming of a place to call our own. May this year bring the contentment and inner peace of a home in the true sense of the word.

✶ I wish to be able to reach more people who are feeling isolated, lonely or sad because of their depression, anxiety or other mental health issue. I would love to somehow extend the reach of my blog and shine some more light into the lives of those who need it most.

10 secrets for living an inspired life.

2010-12-01T13:26:00.000+11:00

Image from We ♥ It

YES it is possible to live an inspired life whilst also living with depression. I suspect that the definition of 'inspired' will vary greatly for everyone, for me it is an authentic life that is influenced by my true spirit and passions. In order to live this life I practice some affirming, nurturing and highly motivational rituals that are not so secret however I like the sense of magic that sharing a special secret conveys!

These are some of my secrets for living an inspired life:

♥ Gratitude, this always bring me back to a feeling of contentment. I have an iPhone app that I use every night as the last part of my day before switching the lights off for bed. Its a gratitude journal and I list at least ten things that I have been grateful for that day, add a photo from the day and within a couple of minutes I am reminded of my blessings.

♥ Meditation, studies show that regular meditation practice contributes to lessened anxiety. It is easy to berate ourselves for failing at the art of meditation however it is important to remember that everyone has the ability to meditate. Take a simple approach to this practice and consider it as a time of solitude, when you are focussed on only one thing. For me, meditation takes on many forms including blogging, sweeping the back terrace, yoga and stretching. I spend a fair amount of time on each of these things every day and they are the things that I find still my mind, and that is meditation!

♥ Cooking and eating food as close to its source as possible, take a moment to think about where something has come from and how many processes it has been through before you purchase it. The processes that we put our foods through and the things that we add to them before eating have a huge influence on how we feel inside. I believe that eating food as close to the way nature created it helps to maintain a healthy body and mind, allowing me the energy to live my life true to spirit. Cooking for me is an expression of love, chance to prepare something thoughtfully for loved ones.

♥ Kindness, every moment of the day is an opportunity to look within and then around and have a positive, lasting impact on another life. Smile at everyone you pass, make a point of thanking everyone enthusiastically, assist someone struggling with heavy bags at the shops, email a friend something thoughtful, call your loved ones and ask how they are sincerely. There is infinite power in kindness!

♥ Giving, charity and philanthropy, all of these things have been scientifically proven to contribute to happiness levels. At the moment I am focussed on choosing a charity to donate to this Christmas in lieu of spending money on Christmas cards. Its astounding the amount of waste that Christmas produces and my plan is to select a cause close to my heart (from the many), make a donation of $100 (what I would spend on cards and postage) and then send an email to family and friends letting them know that Mini G and I have chosen this as our Christmas greeting for 2010.

♥ Living with passion, listening to that inner sense of fulfillment and following the lead that this provides to living in alignment with my passions. Does the work that you do provide that sense of timelessness when truly in a passionate zone? If you are sitting at work wishing you were somewhere else then make plans to get there, to that place that will give you a sense of contentment. Take the risk and follow your heart, if something doesn't feel right then it probably isn't!

♥ Photography, creating ever lasting memories with my camera is something that allows me to express a bit of inner creativity, share insights into my life with loved ones and create treasured gifts. I have a box aside for Mini G when he is a little older filled with scrapbooks materials and other crafts so that we can create some albums and keepsakes with the hundreds of photos of our life together.

♥ Family, having and showing respect for the lives closest to us inspires me. Take the time to learn about the childhoods of your parents and grandparents, its fascinating to think about these details and how all of this has influenced the person that you are today. As soon as Mini G can understand, I plan on telling him all about my Mother and the influence she has had on me, she will be his Nana in living memory!

♥ Learning, consuming knowledge and expanding my mind beyond my own world allows me to live an inspired life. I have always been a book worm and consume knowledge at a rapid rate, always looking for something to expand my wisdom and allow me to have meaningful conversations, contribute to meaningful work and share it all with Mini G.

♥ Motherhood allows me the ultimate gift of living an inspired life, each and every day I have the chance to directly influence the development of a precious little life. The commitment, organisation and responsibility of parenting is the greatest privilege on earth and provides me with the deepest sense of inspiration!

How do you live an inspired life?

The power of a photo.

2010-11-28T19:43:00.000+11:00

These photos all come from the M.I.L.K collection, it is a collection that I have loved and been inspired by for many years. There are many books and greetings cards featuring these images, the books I return to often and at the moment the 'love' themed book is my Pa's hospital room.

The collection started as a photography competition and all of the images have been submitted for inclusion in the collection by the general public.

M.I.L.K stands for moments, intimacy, laughter, kinship - such a lovely way to express the power of the photo to take us into the emotion of a moment in time.

Grateful for Pa.

2010-11-25T12:46:00.000+11:00

'Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow'.

This quote has inspired me to post amidst a very tough time. My beloved grandfather, aka Pa, is so close to reaching his 89th birthday next week yet he is also very unwell. During times of grief and loss I find it helpful to think about gratitude, and from my perspective as his only grand daughter I am most grateful for having grandparents in my life for so long! Blogging is my mindfulness, and at the moment its nice to be able to sit and reflect between hospital visits.

I am grateful for the lessons Pa has taught me about chivalry, he may not have been the best husband in every sense but he knows a thing or two about courtesy and good old fashioned manners. Pa struggled with alcoholism for many years and although sheltered from this as a child as I matured and chose to learn more it became clear the impact that his drinking has had on many lives. Forgiveness does not erase the damage however it goes a long way to ensuring that lives are rebuilt and relationships allowed to recover.

Pa has given me lifelong memories, those that remain etched in my mind and time...beach holidays, strawberries in the backyard, above ground pool on a hot Sydney day, Katie the dog, the smell of tic tacs, his little silver hair comb in his shirt pocket, train and ferry trips, the cricket, pony rides, a love of tea...

At 37 years of age I am grateful to have given my grand father his only great grand child, there is no greater joy than the pride in Pa's face, heart and soul when he is touched by the angel that is Mini G.

Mini G - 15 months young

2010-11-18T17:32:00.000+11:00

Love and Light.

2010-11-12T13:58:00.000+11:00

My lovely and wise naturopath said something to me this week that has helped me see some light in an otherwise dark time...the past few weeks have been very tough and in my usual style of coping I have retreated into myself and struggled to hold onto hope.

She told me to try and send nothing but love and light to the people who have caused me pain...because holding onto and churning over my thoughts about the pain would only cause me more pain.

It all began with some very unexpected behaviour from a close friend whom I thought I knew...sadly it seems that I may have been mistaken by many things including the maturity and understanding of this friendship. The cliche of finding out who our true friends are during adversity seems to have come to life for me this past few weeks. The difficulty that I face with my anxiety, my extra needs at times as a friend and my decision to live with authenticity have led me to a point where I look around and see a lot of blank space that was once filled with faces and friendships.

At many times in my life I have been the girl who everyone wanted at their party - the ring leader of fun and mischief...at other times I am the opposite, withdrawn and lacking in confidence. Since becoming a Mother and succumbing to PND it has been a particularly difficult struggle to tap back into my true self, the girl who has her own sense of style, her own powerful self esteem and the girl that people want to be with.

The loss of friendships and the reality that not everyone will understand the intimate, complex and daily details of living with depression has been really coming to light over the last few weeks. Thanks to my naturopath and her wisdom I am going to take a different approach, the grief of loss cannot be underestimated and I will process this as I choose to think of the people who are no longer on my journey with me with love and light.

Update - in pictures

2010-11-09T19:47:00.000+11:00

(Images from)

Happy places.

2010-10-29T09:57:00.001+11:00

Following my rather heavy last post, I thought it might be time for some happier blogging! I am currently dreaming of setting up a white home with Mini G...filled with colour and photos. The white walls and white floorboards would be a blank canvas for me to express my passion for pretty colours, pretty pictures and pretty things with meaning.

These pictures are an inspiration...they come from ♥ made me do it, one of my favourite blogs and this home certainly looks like a happy place!

Do you have a happy place that gives you a sense of peace?

Does our past define us?

2010-10-28T19:14:00.000+11:00

Sometimes it feels as though my past is following me around, hiding behind the furniture ready to pounce and steal away my present. Of course there are parts of my past that linger happily in my mind, reminding me of sunshine and lollipops...those parts don't bother me.

I consider myself a fairly resilient person, the things that I have seen and overcome will only appear on TV screens in most people's lives...the tragedy and loss has shaped me in many ways and I find myself wondering if it actually does more than just shape me, does it define me?

At the age of 16 my family's lives were shattered by a car accident in which my Mother only just survived, she was 38 at the time. Most people will never know the experience that is acquired brain injury, it has taken me almost 20 years to be able to look back at this and allow myself to explore how it has impacted me. I believe that I could fill a book with the detail, and maybe one day I will do that. For now I am slowly lifting the delicate corners of a scar that I needed to cover because it was too painful to deal with.

Motherhood has me reflecting on this part of my past because the brain injury that my Mother lived with took away her personality, the essence of who she was. I am sure that many people have seen this depicted in movies or on TV, I can tell you from experience that these depictions only scratch the surface of a very frightening injury. In many ways I have always believed that the Mother who raised me until that accident died on the day that our family car spun on a quiet and slippery road into a telegraph pole.

Recovery from her injury was slow and painful, it involved her learning to walk, talk, eat and re discover the world and people around her. Needless to say, the recovery was just as painful for our family to witness and support. In the midst of this recovery, about 5 years after the accident, she was then diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and in 2000 after fighting this disease as well as the effects of the brain injury she died, again.

As I look back on pictures of my Mother and my childhood, as I strive to be the best Mother that I can be to Mini G...I find myself missing my own Mother more and more. I struggle to remember the Mother that gave birth to me, the one who held my hand and did all of the things that I am now lovingly doing with Mini G. My memories of the Mother who lived with a brain injury and breast cancer are clearer but they are dark and scary, they are the ones that flash before me in my dreams.

I have never been resistant to talking about this experience, in fact it was the loss of my Mother that motivated me to enter the non-profit sector and succeed as a fundraiser. I am however starting to realise that in many ways this experience is still defining me, it is still shaping the way that I look at myself and the way that I live my life. The anxiety and depression that manifested during this time has never left me, and perhaps it never will...I fight hard each and every day to rid myself of the darkness and allow my inner optimist to shine. Some days it is much harder than others, and some days I resign myself to the fact that yes, my past does define me to an extent. It does not, however, stop me from hanging onto hope that the sunshine and lollipops will one day be the things that come to me in my dreams.

Accepting imperfection

2010-10-27T19:44:00.000+11:00

Since becoming a Mother I have finally learned to accept imperfection! Before Motherhood I was driven by achievement, completing my long lists, striving for perfection in all that I did. During my pregnancy I was often advised that I would need to relax my cleaning and tidying standards if I was going to survive the first few months of Motherhood...little did I know how true this piece of wisdom would turn out to be!

Of course I still like things to be tidy and in order, I still have my lists and achievement is still important just in a different way! I have learned to allow the beautiful chaos that is a toddler his freedom...even if that means stopping myself from running around the house with wipes in hand scooping up all of the food, clothes, drinks, books, toys and other toddler trail!

This excerpt from my favourite parenting book, Buddhism for Mothers, jumped out at me last night:

'It's important to notice the diabolically difficult nature of parenting and to not expect perfection. There is no perfection in the world and we don't have to be perfect. Instead we work with the life that is mysteriously ours with its own particular weave of love and pain. And we agree to be present to it, to accept the offer moment by moment, to develop unlimited friendliness for what is and who we are.'

My aim as a Mother is to inspire, support, teach, nurture and learn - letting go of the need for perfection allows me to be present rather than always striving for a state outside of the moment.

This path...chosen or not?

2010-10-25T14:18:00.000+11:00

As a single Mother it often crosses my mind, and my lips, would I have chosen this path if given the choice? Some might argue that I did in fact choose this path...

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a Mother...the people around me entered Motherhood at varying stages and I longed to be there as well. In fact, it was more than a longing, it was an aching. I have had the blessing of many different types of relationships over the years, and along the way I have learned a lot about myself, men and the bigger picture. At the conclusion of a relationship I would look back and critique it, and myself. Why did that one not end up in marriage and Motherhood?

Finally I met someone who I felt was Father material, and who shared my vision to bring a life into our worlds. Of course at that stage I did not picture myself on the path to single Motherhood, the thought never entered my mind. It was not a path that I purposely avoided, it was simply a path I never pictured myself walking on.

Yet here I am...treading very carefully in sometimes scary territory. Single Motherhood is lonely until you find other single Mothers to share with. I have been blessed to meet many of late, the divorce statistics lead me to them often in daily life. We lift each other up, fill some of each others gaps and remind each other that there is no 'normal' family these days and nor should there be. Family is what you make it, its a place in the heart that evokes a sense of peace and warmth.

So, would I have chosen this path...well to be honest the answer to that question is getting harder and harder to answer. When it was first asked of me my instant response was no, of course I wouldn't choose to raise a child on my own! However, the less alone I am feeling the less black and white that question becomes to answer. I know for sure that I would never turn back the hands of Motherhood and if that means having to tread the path as a single Mother then so be it for now.

Body Love ♥

2010-10-15T19:27:00.000+11:00

Body Love is always a hot topic, especially for us Mothers. Pre Motherhood I had a fluctuating love, loathe, indifference thing going on with my body and my weight seemed in sync with all of this. During my pregnancy I was a little indifferent, morning sickness and heartburn distracted me from the 'pregnant glow' most of the time. Breastfeeding was a time of BIG body love for me, and lately as Mini G has entered toddler-hood and I have struggled through the PND my body love has faded.

Until I am reminded of its importance, and given the chance to show some love! PND can take so much, for me the most significant loss was my self esteem, my sense of confidence and the essence of me. At the moment I am rebuilding these things, slowly...and as my confidence returns bit by bit I look around and realise how hard it can be today as a woman to appreciate what we have amidst the abundance of media touting unrealistic images of a supposed perfection we can achieve through surgery or the latest diet.

Carly at We Heart Life is an inspiration in many ways and I am proud to share the 3 things that I love about my body in support of her Body Love campaign!

♥ The thing I love most and am most grateful for is my fertility. Motherhood gives my life true purpose and my body allowed me to conceive quickly, nurture Mini G through his 40 weeks of prep for the world, breastfeed him and now it allows me to keep up with his speedy little legs and always curious mind.

♥ I love my flexibility, since those childhood stretch tests at school I was always able to reach right past my toes and thankfully that has not changed! Yoga and daily stretches keep me feeling strong in my body and I hope to still be saluting the sun every day when I am 90!

♥ Curves are a part of me, I have often wished that I was more petite, less rounded, leaner...I choose curve love from now on!!

Baby Loss Awareness Week

2010-10-14T12:41:00.000+11:00

Baby Loss Awareness Week - four words that I am sure will evoke a lot of emotion for a lot of people this week. For me it is an awareness of and empathy for others as well as my own experience and time for reflection, 2 years ago this week I lost the first Mini Ginger at 12 weeks old.

It is with mixed emotions that I reflect, blessed now to have a healthy 14 month old Mini Ginger alive and well, thriving in his beautiful little body and soul. I will always wonder about the little life that was created and then so quickly ended though. Miscarriage is often a complete mystery, nobody was able to answer my questions at the time...why?

I often come to my own conclusions about why something has occurred, in this case it was a combination of my open mind and need for facts. The first Mini G came to be a part of me so that I could go on to conceive and nurture a perfectly healthy baby. It is my belief that our bodies hold the most incredible power, they can sometimes sense that the life inside might not be quite ready to move through the stages of growth that take place during pregnancy.

Of course there are also the inexplicable occasions on which a body does not recognise the precious life growing inside and many other theories and thoughts that others ponder when touched by this sad loss. It is important to me to recognise my loss as well acknowledge my incredible blessing. I am an optimist within, there are times that the darkness of depression casts a shadow over that optimist however it is always a big part of me. I believe that this helped me to process my personal grief at the time of my miscarriage, I believe that the tragedy and trauma I had already experienced in my life also allowed me some perspective.

Following my baby loss I went on to conceive in the month after and for that I have my angel baby Byron to shine his incredible light in my life and the many lives that he touches. It is my sincere wish that those touched by the loss of a baby are well supported, able to process their loss and hopeful for the future.

Life Lessons - my curriculum

2010-10-06T20:57:00.000+11:00

There were times that I fancied myself as a bit of a teacher...my immaculate bookwork, attention to detail and ability to write on a big blackboard neatly led me to believe that it may be my destiny 'when I grew up'.

It seems that the role of teacher to our children gives each of us parents the chance to step into this most crucial of responsibilities. My lifelong yearning to share my own life lessons with an eager student is suddenly before me and I could not be more excited!!

So many things I have learned and continue to learn each and every day...so many things that I want to teach Mini G in turn. Below is the start of a list that I plan to work on diligently as Mother and life teacher to the most impressionable person in my life.

Life Lessons, my curriculum for Mini G:

♥ Good old fashioned manners including please and thank you, standing up and offering your seat to ladies and anyone elderly or frail.

♥ The importance of giving, philanthropy, community work and supporting causes of your choosing that show an appreciation of those less fortunate.

♥ Respect for elders, the absolute treasure that lies in our parents, grandparents, great grandparents and other older people in our lives.

♥ The power of positive thinking, as a huge believer and personal advocate for this I plan to demonstrate how our thoughts influence our lives.

♥ F-U-N!! The role that play has in our lives, the effect that laughter can have and the way that humour can lift us up.

♥ Life is worth celebrating, don't save the expensive glasses or champagne for a 'special occasion' - there is no more special an occasion than being alive, healthy and safe.

...to be continued...

Motherhood in pictures.

2010-10-05T20:25:00.000+11:00

...some of the images that capture the essence of Motherhood for me...from We Heart It xx

Parenting with passion

2010-10-05T19:58:00.000+11:00

The lure of a long weekend, ME time and the scent of a day gone by has me in a very philosophical state of mind this afternoon.

Living with passion is important to me, a dear friend made a statement to me today that fitted well with my current mental state of contemplation...she said that I indulged in all of my 'loves' with excess, that if I liked something I liked it as much as possible. Its true, I live with passion and if something takes my fancy I am not one to limit myself or live in moderation. I have an indulgent attitude towards things at times, I think it comes from a belief that we need to make the most of life and if there is something that gives me pleasure then why not squeeze as much pleasure out of that thing as possible?

The long weekend has been a bit of a time warp at times...Mini G has been with his Dad so I have had the freedom to make my own plans and it seems that this is a process of looking into the past and recapturing the things that I was able to do BM (before Motherhood)...this weekend though I had an epiphany of sorts, on the dancefloor of all places!!

The dance floor is a place I look back on fondly...it is a place that holds many dear memories and a place that acts somewhat like a time machine, transporting me back to places that until this weekend I thought I missed. I am sure that its not uncommon for a new Mother to find herself reflecting sometimes longingly into the world that was her past...and that is what I found myself doing a lot this weekend.

Post weekend though, the reflecting has me even more determined to stay focused on the here and now and plan for the future. Parenting with passion is my most important focus right now and I intend to give it 110%...because I only do things in excess right!!

here I am!!

2010-09-30T11:05:00.002+10:00

My poor neglected blog and readers, it has been a while and I must apologise to you all! Mini G and I have been enJOYing immensely the arrival of Spring as you can see in the photos above from a recent weekend away! It is such a wonderful time of year for so many reasons, particular for those of us living with dark days.

Spring is all about hope, renewal and on this particular year it is all about awakening for me! Since the arrival of warmer weather I have also been blessed with the arrival of a new sense of personal purpose and hope. Since making the decision to soak up the moments with Mini G rather than labour through extra work that was not inspiring me I have never felt such an inner peace. It was a big decision and one that was not taken lightly, in the end however it was one that I made with a sense of ease.

The sense of awakening came about 2 weeks ago after I visited a gentle, nurturing and super knowledgeable naturopath. She took the time to listen, respond thoughtfully and prepare some special magic drops (my explanation to Mini G) for me that I have been taking regularly. I feel a renewed energy and a slow but certain return of my old self.

It has not been all rosy however, there have been some times over the past 2 weeks when I have stood on the edge of that deep dark place I strive to avoid and almost let myself fall...single Motherhood is no walk in a flower filled park. However, it is a journey that I embrace and now feel a new sense of confidence in conquering!

Mindful Blogging

2010-09-14T20:19:00.000+10:00

Pretty picture from Tara Frey

It came to me this evening, after a long day at the office cramming as much work as possible into those precious 8 hours I have each week devoted solely to the role of Marketing Manager that I love so much...it came to me that blogging is a form of meditation for me. Leaving the office to rush and pick up angel baby from my dear friend who cares for him each Tuesday I realised that I was so hungry I was staring at the lady in the car next to me eating a banana...swooping into the house to embrace angel baby, whisking him home for dessert, bottle and bath and then...

I pour a chamomile tea, lift the lid of my Macbook and enter the peaceful world of the blogosphere and my creative passions. Lisa and Mini Ginger is a place I come to deposit memories, life lessons and pieces of my mind. Whilst doing that I am still, my mind is focussed and little else drifts into this space...and it occurred to me that this is mindfulness, pure and simple.

I am engaged in the daily practice of Mindful Blogging.

At times I have taken a step back and examined my time spent online, questioned the frequency, the purpose and the consequences. It seems that there is a lot of discussion around whether blogging is a positive experience or a constructive use of our time and I must say that this is a very personal and subjective issue.

Of course there are unhealthy blogging practices, verging on voyurism there are bloggers peeping into the lives of others seeking sustenance from the dreams and glimpses into the lives of others. I suspect that this happens a lot and if it takes someone away from their own REAL life then this could be a problem. However, Mindful Blogging, undertaken in reasonable doses seems to me to be a meaningful, positive and empowering experience.

Personally, I have struggled with the practice of meditation for many years, I have attempted many guided meditations and besides falling asleep and fighting off the pesky thoughts popping in and out I have felt a sense of failure!

Until now...until I realised that meditation can take on any form, any form that results in stillness, focus and calm. Mindful Blogging is my stillness, focus and calm.

The blurry path.

2010-09-13T20:57:00.000+10:00

This is a lovely little message...and one that has special meaning to me at the moment. Its been difficult to make a big decision recently, not at all crystal clear and at the best of times I am somewhat indecisive!! That big decision was whether or not to take on more work and pack Mini G off for a day in care...

BIG decision for me because I have dreamt and longed for the role of Motherhood for as long as I can remember, of course I didn't picture or wish doing it alone however that is beside the point and all part of the path I am travelling on...intense guilt has darkened and illuminated my decision at the same time.

BIG decision for me because I also have very big ambitions alongside Motherhood, they are based purely around my passions and in my heart I am always working towards achieving these dreams. I have felt a decline in my level of ambition lately, in fact it would be more accurate to say that my ambitions have been changing which is of course a natural part of Motherhood for many women.

BIG decision for me because single Mother-hood is expensive!!

It came to a point recently when I was offered and accepted a part-time role working from home, seemingly perfect as another avenue on top of my other part time job for career involvement and income. Whilst accepting the role and getting started there was something not quite right, I pushed on though, my motivation and optimism shining through! As the induction period for the role progressed, so did my doubts. Mini G would gaze longingly at me whilst I typed furiously and promised to be with him in a minute. The pleading in his eyes, the tears and the little hands grasping at my arm gave me the sudden epiphany that I so desperately needed...

I do not want to look back and wish that I had not missed something, anything. It has taken me so many years of aching, heartbreak, longing and wishing to bring a life into the world and nothing is more important than giving that new life every second of my love and my time.

The role would have been enjoyable, it would have been successful and it would have been a chance for me to add another achievement to my resume and some more of that much needed income. The role would also have been the thing that sent my precious little man into daycare and that is not what I want yet, for me this is the right decision and for Mini G that is all that matters.

Seeing the extra - ordinary

2010-09-10T11:52:00.000+10:00

Living with depression is a daily struggle, some days it is easier than others however it is always there lurking in the background. It is draining physically and emotionally, to know that each and every day a large amount of effort will be needed to keep my inner optimist safe from the temptress that is my dark depression.

I have written about some of the strategies I use to stay on the bright side, and lately I have been using my trusty camera to capture some of the extra in the ordinary. I find that so many people are caught up in the 'rush' of life that they miss the extra in the ordinary and maybe my photographs will shed some light. Getting snap happy gives me a sense of 'the moment' and allows me to freeze those moments in time.

These are some shots taken around our new home this week...

Kreativ Blogger Meme

2010-09-07T21:47:00.000+10:00

Kreativ Blogger Meme

OH I am flattered and excited to have just discovered that Marissa from 'Marissa Writes a Blog' has just passed me the Kreativ Blogger Meme! My first time for being involved in something like this and I LOVE the idea of sharing, as everyone would be well aware!!

I have to share 7 things about myself that others may not know. So here we go....this was a bit tough because I tend to tell people pretty much everything ;-)

1. I have a slightly obsessive fear of death. In fact its a subject that I generally choose to deal with by employing a huge dose of denial. In fact I am surprised that I have just admitted it here in writing!!

2. I struggle with my depression every day. I have an inner optimist that allows me to shine, overcome the anxiety and look on the bright side, however this does not mean that I don't struggle with the darkness every day as well.

3. I like to have things organised to a degree that is sometimes considered a little OCD! When I make a pizza I like to line up the toppings in neat rows so that each slice will have an even amount of each taste...hehe...

4. I have an over the top fixation with my hair, ever since I was a little girl I have needed to have it in perfect place...its one of those things I just can't seem to relax about, ever!!

5. I have a serious love of 80s music, in particular Aussie 80s music. A lot of my friends are aware of this however there are many out there who don't know about my regular need for very loud Dragon tunes to get me in the mood for LIFE!!

6. OK, I am not a big fan of TV however I will admit to a fondness of Gilmore Girls, Bewitched and Lipstick Jungle :-)

7. I want to have another baby, in fact I believe that I am destined to have another child...just putting that out there!!!

Thank you Marissa for passing this award onto me, I am so grateful!!

And now to pass it on to some inspiring bloggers who I hope will know that their writing inspires me every day!!

Claire from Scissors Paper Rock

Sharnel from My Life - My Loves
Stacey from Sunny Mummy

Melissa from Operation Nice

If you choose to follow for a bit of fun, the "rules" are:
- Copy the award to your blog
- Insert a link to the person who nominated you
- Share seven things about yourself that you haven't told us before.
- Nominate other bloggers for the award - share the love
- Link to their blogs.
- Tell the nominees about their award.

xx Lisa and Mini G.